this little light of mine

Spiritual Beauty Rest

2011-09-03T17:56:00.001-05:00

Lately, I have felt uninspired, underwhelmed, vacant of creativity and just plain hum-drum! Ever felt that way? I suppose so. I don’t know that any of us are immune from the pendulum swing into Blahsville. It just seems I got stuck there, like in the Twilight Zone or on a time-warp continuum of lack-luster existing. Worse, I felt like my spiritual eyes were becoming glazed over by the problems and trials whirling around me. Hope seemed shifty, and for days I was just adrift in ambiguity. God seemed at a distance despite praying and reading His Word.

No, I wouldn’t call it depression, although I suppose my intro sounds like I am feeling a little sorry for myself. Honestly, I don’t expect to live on the precipice of epiphany or inspiration; I might keel over from the shock. I was just at a loss about why I had been lingering so long in this state of apathy. I wanted to serve Him, love others to Him, share Him, but the words and opportunity wouldn’t come – at least, not in the way I thought would be best.

Through the past couple weeks, as I would think on my dim and dismal state, I asked God why my motivation was near melt-down. “On Christ the Solid Rock I Stand” would cross my mind. In the moment that song seemed so out of place and irrelevant that I would just shove it aside and concentrate on my predicament. But it kept coming back, “all other ground is sinking sand, all other ground is sinking sand”. Grrrr! It was irritating. I didn’t feel like singing it and I sure wasn’t getting the message of it… I really thought it was just one of those broken record, stuck-in-a-rut, music annoyances and hoped it would pass. It didn’t.

Turns out, God was using this frame of mind and hymnal prod to direct my attention to a personal weakness. A long standing, people pleasing, earn my keep, perfection driven, high expectation, do it out of my own strength kind of pride. Yup… Pride. I knew in the back of my mind that He was letting me know, straight up, that the only words that are worth their salt are His, not mine. That His timing, not mine, would reap the greatest blessing. I knew it, but I didn’t know where the root of my problem was hiding. Like a pea under my spiritual mattress, it was an irksome thing that had to be found!

One day, after another rendition of the words crossed the vacuity of my mind, I decided to look it up on the internet. Here are the words to that song that I so wrongfully suspected would be pointless in regard to my situation.

My Hope Is Built, by Eward Mote
My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.

When darkness veils His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.

His oath, His covenant, His blood
Support me in the whelming flood;
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my hope and stay.

When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh, may I then in Him be found;
Dressed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.

Refrain:
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand.

Funny how this song says NOTHING about measuring up to what other people think or expect of me, or if I work hard enough then God will approve of me. Instead it reminds me to wholly lean on the Name of Jesus.

Finally, the Lord let me see. Maybe it was because I finally cried, “Uncle!” or maybe He was getting tired of my whining. But He let me clearly see that I was getting my identity from the wrong source! While I knew my identity in Christ, I continued living as though I believed my worth came when I was doing enough (in my own mind) and pleasing others. Instead, my merit and value need to come from that deep knowing that I am His and He is mine. Nothing else matters. “He wants our significance to come from using our God-given gifts to serve Him, but not from specific accomplishments within that service for Him.” (Pastoring with Passion by Dr. David Holt)

I am the daughter of the King! A Princess in the court of the Most High! And such a wonderful Father could not pass up an opportunity to call attention to that disruptive little pea under the mattress. That irritating lump would surely fester and frustrate, and interfere with what God has in mind. You see, it would keep me from fully resting in Him, and when we don’t rest, we don’t grow. Spiritual Beauty Rest is indeed what we find in the presence of our Lord once we hold all that we are up to Him and surrender.

Even when I don’t feel it, I must trust what God says in His Word: my cup runneth over (Psalm 23:5), and it does because I am justified in Him (Romans 5:1) – completely free from condemnation (Romans 8:1)! Philippians 1:6 says, “being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus (emphasis mine).” It is not our job to do, He who began it will complete it! We get to rest in the privilege and blessing of being able to participate (as He directs) and witness His majesty and creativity. Those lean moments that come, are wholly used to drive us to His lap of love, remind us that all good gifts come from Him alone, and the only true significance is found in who He says we are. He is all we need. Say it with me ’cause it feels so good, “He is ALL I ever need!” Amen, Sister! Forward march!

Mother's Day Gift

2011-05-08T09:36:00.002-05:00

Happy Mother’s Day… For most of us, those words feel so good to say to our moms or to other women whom we respect and admire. But why, for so many of us, do those words conjure up feelings of guilt or inadequacy? We look at our children and view them as beautiful gifts. They may be annoying and selfish little beasts at times, but we can easily block out the irritations and frustrations and see them as cherubs dropped directly from the hand of God. We see past their whines and flaws, affording them abounding grace, intent on remembering their smiles, giggles, and successes. So, why don’t we grant ourselves a sliver of that same charity and allow our hearts to completely relish the joy of being loved and appreciated, even for just one day a year? Why do we look at our children and often feel sorry that they must endure us and our mistakes?

The reasons for feelings of inadequacy are endless, with as many varying and unique rationales as there are mothers. Yet they all point back to one thing, as specific, longstanding, and maternal as Eve herself ~ expectations that are outside of God’s directions, followed by our futile attempts to meet those expectations in our own strength. You know it’s true! Think about it. Did God give you a command to do the things that you think ought to be done? Or, have you created for yourself a vision of an ideal, perfect mom that you strive to become? Honestly, Mama, that ideal is really just an idol ~ a figment of your imagination, whose picture hangs on the wall of your heart and blocks the beautiful masterpiece that God has in mind. Your personal “Super Mom” definition is nothing more than a leech and a joy sucker.

Is that what God intended for you? Certainly not! Your Father in heaven looks upon you with love, deep affection, and abundant grace. He hand-selected a child, or children, that He wants you to love, nurture and return to Him with open hands. He didn’t just think your children would be a blessing to you, dear Sister. No, He also knows you to be a blessing to these little “chitlins” He chose to put in your care. He created and fully knows the mother’s heart that you carry within. He gave you specific gifts and talents that would compliment the personalities of your kids. I know that doesn’t always seem true, especially in the moments of tantrums, teenage years, or prodigal tragedies, but His plan is perfect. He sees the story from beginning to end. He knows what He is doing, Mama.

Give yourself a Mother’s Day gift this year and cut yourself some slack. Let your Father reveal His plan for your life and your mothering, and let yourself enjoy the ride. Following Christ and allowing God to direct your day is freedom beyond compare. Yes, this will likely mean less doing and more resting in Him and in the moment. Yet this is where the memories are made, Mama, where you will gain access to your child’s heart. You will hear the details of dreams and hopes, fears and tears. These are the gifts of your motherhood AND his/her childhood. These are the times when you will touch your dear one deeply, the way you had hoped to, the first time you saw that sweet face. Will you be remembered for baking five dozen cupcakes for the bake sale? Maybe. But you will definitely be remembered for the day you let her paint your toenails, or the walk when he told you about his first crush.

Children are resilient and full of grace. As long as our mistakes are followed with love and the opportunity for forgiveness, their wide and deep hearts can manage our shortcomings. Don’t read in here that I am suggesting to excuse or wash over abuses; I am talking about the good-willed mom who wants to love well. We all make mistakes and we will all have regrets. Just don’t stay there in the wallow, Sister. Don’t try to salvage your imperfection by trying to attain the impossible. Throw yourself upon the great mercies of the Father, and ask Him to again direct your path. He longs to show you that His yoke is easy and His burden is light. He will use you to raise up His children, and through you He will impact them for eternity! Sounds like a huge and impossible responsibility, and it would be on our own. All we are called to do is focus the eyes of our heart on Him and trust Him to do the rest. He is able!

2 Corinthians 12:9 “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” (NIV)

Bird Poop

2010-12-29T09:10:00.002-06:00

You Want Me To Put Bird Poop… WHERE?

That’s it! Sister, that is when you know we have finally lost our marbles as women! Straight up, Chicks are laying down over $200 a hit for Bird Poop facials! You can’t make stuff like this up.

I recently watched a web video talking about beauty essentials and those luxuries or treatments that could be given up in order to save a buck or two. No joke, the Commentator talked about these little poop treats for your face, its proposed exfoliating properties and ability to “brighten the skin.” Seriously, anything would look brighter once the bird poop was washed off! Anyway, Bird Poop facials made the “give up” list (this alone should attest that there is a God) because they were found to be no more effective than cheaper (less poopy?) options. Heavens to Mergatroid! You don’t say? How’s about I help ya put that facial out on the rose bushes, garden patch or in the compost pile?!

I guess what grabbed me most, about this whole idea, is how far our focus and thoughts have traveled as a society, in the quest for beauty and youth. We have rambled so far down this ridiculous road that we have somehow forgotten that poop belongs on the ground, in a hole or otherwise flushed… NOT on our faces. But then, what a perfect metaphor, don’t you think? You know that old saying, “Here’s to mud in your eye!” That phrase is thought to have risen out of the horse racing world, and was a playful nudge from the winner to the loser (who would most likely be spattered with mud from following the winner). Well girls, we are falling behind in the race to see more of Jesus in this life and some of us don’t even recognize that instead, we are playing the part of the dirty looser – not with mud in our eye, but with poop on our faces!

When we get so sucked into the idea that youth and beauty determining our worth, we loose sight of life’s joys as God intended. We willingly smear bird poop on our faces (literally and figuratively) in attempt to be what the world says is special. Doesn’t that strike you as nuts? Romans 8:5 says, “Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.” Our hearts can be so deceptive, and lead us down fruitless and dead end roads. Jeremiah 17:9 tell us that, “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” So we must intentionally keep our thoughts on the things of God and what really matters for eternity. (Philippians 4:8)

No, maybe you don’t spend that much on crazy concoctions and potions for the promise of glorious skin or smooth thighs. Maybe you don’t stuff your bra with gel balloons, or look to see what you can improve about yourself surgically. Maybe you don’t spend hours upon hours at the salon each month on hair or nails. I am not suggesting these things are wrong; they are just smoke and mirrors. What I do want you to ask yourself is this: Does your appearance or what others think of you outweigh in your heart who God says you are? The Word of God asserts this question through Paul in Galatians 1:8, “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Who we aim to please, plainly says who we serve.

Despite the wrinkles, crinkles and gravity dimples; God says you are His beloved daughter with a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11) With or without the extra pounds, you are His beautiful creation. (2 Corinthians 5:17) You are lovely to the Lord, even with the scars, stretch marks and tracks of your life traveled. God rejoices over you, whether you dress like a diva or wear dime store duds. (Proverbs 31:25, Zephaniah 3:17) Even if you have lost parts of yourself or have been disfigured because of cancer, disease, or accident; your Father in Heaven says you are complete. (Colossians 2:9-10) You are His true love, the one He gave His life for, and He will pursue you until you turn and give all of your heart to Him. Those who have received Him as their Lord and Savior are His beautiful bride, without stain or mark, washed by the blood of the Lamb. (Isaiah 62:5, Ephesians 5:27) Dear Sister, you are so special, exactly the way you are! YOU are an expression of the life of Christ! (Colossians 3:4)

Yes, these bodies of ours are God’s temple and we are to care for them. (1Corinthians 3:16, 6:19) But we are to keep in perspective that these temples are a temporary dwelling, they are not eternal. That fact is obvious when we glimpse ourselves naked in a full length mirror! These imperfect earthly bodies are meant to simply be a vehicle to carry our spirits and souls, meant for the Lord’s work. (Ephesians 2:10)

Sister, if we resolve to do anything in the coming year, let it be a resolution to learn to like ourselves, even love ourselves, just the way God made us. If we learn to be content and happy in who we are, then we can be an example to our children and those around us. Don’t you ever look at your dear friends and daughters and wish they could see how lovely they really are? Don’t you think your God and Creator wants the same for you? He does! He wants you to know His unconditional love and acceptance, and to be a living testimony of this blessing to others. Knowing who you really are in Christ is true beauty magnified by God’s love through you. He is ready to transform your heart with this beauty make-over if you will allow Him. No appointment necessary! Oh, and Girl, He is running an eternal special, it doesn’t cost a thing! He is able!

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. (Romans 12:1-2)

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. (Proverbs 31:30)

All Scriptures NIV 2010

Giver or a Taker?

2010-12-18T14:58:00.004-06:00

One Sunday not too long ago, a friend of ours
approached me and gave me a hug. She said she had been thinking of us often and
wondered how we were doing. This dear Sister has been privy to some of
the heavy things on our proverbial "plate" of life. So in
response, I immediately set about telling her all that was going on, never once
really coming up for air. You know what I mean, monologue style,
rehashing every last uncomfortable detail... Throwing in a, "but God is so
good," and a "despite it all, I feel so blessed" here and there for
a good measure of Church Speak.

My husband, likely noticing my friend's eyes glazing over, stepped into the
conversation and asked her how things were going for her at school (she has
gone back to take some college courses). I was immediately embarrassed,
realizing how focused I was on my own problems. I had chosen to forget
that those around me have their own lives and things to work through. She
gratefully smiled in response to his concern and said that she loved her
classes and so the long commute was worth it. However, the day before, as
she was driving to school, she had been in a pretty bad car accident.
UGH! She had suffered a significant scare and set back. If my
husband hadn't asked, I would have continued on about myself, never knowing
what she had been through. Even more convicting was her faith.
There was no complaint of, "Why me?" or fear of, "What shall I
do?" She was trusting God in the details and sincerely grateful that
she was not injured or worse.

I realized that I had again let myself sink into the arms of self
absorption. Believing that my time, my life, my problems are most
important and imperative. There in that self-wallowing place, we are less
sensitive to the Holy Spirit and His call to minister. There in the mire
of our hearts, we are unable to love and sympathize with others since our
interest is tied up in our own problems, paralyzed by selfish
preoccupation. We miss the blessing of loving others, encouraging others
- the very thing that will swiftly lighten the load of our own struggles.

Years ago, a dear friend of mine had lovingly committed to praying for me
and my family. We were going through a pretty wide and dry desert at the
time, and I was so grateful for her listening ear and willingness to
pray. However, my fears and flesh began to slowly suck the blessing out
of the love this Sister offered. I began to see the relationship as a way
to dump all my problems, describe all my woes, and explain every wretched detail
of my troubles. I chose to ignore that this friend was also living a life
mottled by problems, speed bumps, and grief. I was so wrapped up in my
need to be heard, why I thought my life sucked so bad, and wanting to explain
why I needed prayer and how I wanted God to answer, that I forgot to be a
friend to the one who was taking so much time for me. Worse yet, I had
forgotten that we are to thank Him even in the midst of our troubles, and the
sweet assurance that His perfect plan will bring all things good AND bad to
beautiful fruition in Christ. (Romans 8:28, 1 Thessalonians 5:18, James 1:2)

Finally, after many woes-me letters and phone calls. My dear Sister
lovingly and courageously told me to shove it. OK, not exactly, she was
much gentler than that. In fact, as I look back, I can't believe how kind
she was. She spent time relaying to me how God loves us and would take
care of us. Then came the sentence that
hung in my mind for months, well actually, years. She wrote, "It is
time to become a giver, and stop living as a taker." She told me how
God had things for me to do that would bring Him glory. Those good works
He prepared in advance for me to do! (Ephesians 2:10) She assured me that
as I trusted Him, gave, and let Him use me as a vessel to pour out, I would be
abundantly blessed in unexpected ways.

She was right. I began to take every
thought captive to the Lord (2 Corinthians 10:5) and find things to thank Him
for even in the days where it seemed difficult to simply function. (1
Thessalonians 5:18) As God gently retrains my mind and heart’s
perspective (Isaiah 64:8, Romans 12:2), my thoughts are less likely to hovering
over the troubles I was experience. When worries, fears, or complaints
come to mind, I am better able to see through an eternal perspective and
realize that they are no where near as weighty as I would like to believe.
(Isaiah 55:8-9) It is amazing how self absorption throws reality out of
whack and causes us to believe we are suffering far more than we really are, or
that our problems are more important than someone else's. I don't know
why it is so easy to slip into a proclivity of doom. I haven't the
foggiest why self pity feels so darn warm and cozy, vindicating and right...
Because it isn't, and we must take caution to avoid that lie that only leads to
an ineffective and powerless frame of mind.

In no way do I intend to belittle problems you face. Instead, I want
to encourage you to ask God to help you view these things through His eyes.
Nor would I suggest that you stop talking to godly counsel about your problems,
this is so important and the Bible tells us to bear one another's burdens
(Galatians 6:2). But the verse says, "bear one another's," not
"dump your troubles and run." Sure, it isn't going to always be
a fifty-fifty deal, but the intention is not to take advantage, spill or heap
our burden on others, or assume our needs are greater; instead, we are to give,
and share the load.

So... reality check for me. Yes, hell or high water may come, but it
is nothing that our mighty God cannot handle if we only open our hearts and
lives to Him and surrender it all. God is greater! (Genesis 18:14,
Matthew 19:26) No sense in pretending anymore, dear Sister, we have never
been nor will we ever be in control. So, why not let the Almighty take
the helm and enjoy the opportunity to be used of Him and witness, first hand,
the work of the Lord? Being a ready and open vessel is the ultimate
drown-er and squash-er of troubles, it is a divinely appointed remedy for
woes. No, those trials will likely not vanish, but your choice to focus
on something or someone else will help you to keep things in perspective, help
keep you from reacting out of emotion, and help alleviate the stress and strain
on your spirit and physical body that comes with worry. The best part is,
our heavenly Father is patiently waiting for us to ask Him to do this work in
us! The Word says, I can do all this through Him who gives me strength!
(Philippians 4:13) He is ABLE!

Christmas Conspiracy and Clean Water Project

2010-11-29T11:05:00.000-06:00

Thankfulness in All Things

2010-11-23T09:50:00.003-06:00

"Is it really possible? Has another year passed?" I thought this Sunday after church as my husband and I were pulling up frozen weights by net handles out of a sea of plastic wrapped carcasses, in search of the perfect bird. "Do I really want to cook a turkey, didn't I just do this last week?" Then came a trickle of memories of the year's past, then the trickle became a stream, followed by a flood. Good days and bad days, that had all been shoved back and tucked away in my mind, began to fly through my head. They reminded me that indeed, twelve months have passed since I wrestled a slippery, goose pimpled, headless monster in my sink. I guess the thinking on these things, coupled with a really good sermon on the sovereignty of God, added up to the question that followed, "Am I thankful?"

This hasn't been the easiest of years. Nothing catastrophic in and of itself, just the overwhelming gnawing of seemingly unresolved problems and uncertainty. My heart has at times felt exhausted and overrun. I have questioned God and wondered, even yelled, "Have you forgotten? Hellooooo?"

Yet, as I look back, I can see that by God's hand, the bad times were carefully and creatively matched with good and sweet moments, and at times met with new and old family in Christ. There has been an answer for every grief, a gentle kiss from the Father, offering blessing that would have been missed if He had spared me the pain. It is evident that God is truly in control and He has allowed each of these difficulties to come so that I might grow to a better understanding of Him and how He loves me.

Our God allows the trials and tests to strengthen us for the good works He has prepared in advance to do. In His loving wisdom He exercises our faith, challenges our hope, and demands our trust. He calls us to join Him as He looks deep within our hearts and considers our motives. The landscape of our hearts can be such a difficult view to take in, with barren areas, miry pits, and ugly walls of stone... But if we honestly appraise the condition (Psalm 139:23) and willingly hand over the deed to what might otherwise appear to be useless space, our Master Gardener will begin to cultivate a garden that is as abundant as it is lovely in the fruits of His Spirit. Some of this work is only possible by the Father's miraculous hand, but much of it He will ask us to do under His loving guidance. Uprooting the dead and lifeless, pruning back the useless, and tearing down walls that keep us from fully experiencing Him. (John 15:1-16) We will see the voids well up with streams of living water and never run dry. Yet none of this is possible without sharp tools, elbow grease, and dirty knees. Knees that learn to love being bent in worship and service, because of the amazing view that is provided from that place of humility while we weed the garden of our hearts under the light of His presence. A garden of retreat and a place meet with our Father. A place to pick fruit that we can pelt at the troubles that come, just kidding, "pelting" is probably not the best metaphor albeit satisfying to think of at times! All in all, it is nothing short of amazing that He can redeem the dirt of our lives, and from it, bring forth such bounty! (Romans 8:28) He is ABLE!

So... YES! I am thankful! Thankful for the opportunity to struggle, as weird as it may sound and as strange as it is to write. The Bible says in 1 Thessalonians 5:18, "give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." Thanks that God would carefully craft the path of my life to involve tailored obstacles to challenge me and establish my dependence on Him. (Matthew 4:4) After all, the joy of the Lord is our strength! (Nehemiah 8:10) What He asks us to give is only that which we have already received according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus! (Philippians 4:19) Thank You Lord, for loving us enough to prevent us from getting too comfortable, so that we might seek Your face, find You and know You more! (Jeremiah 29:13)

So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness. Colossians 2:6-7

You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. LORD my God, I will praise you forever. Psalm 30:11-12

But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you; may those who long for your saving help always say, “The LORD is great!” Psalm 70:4

Bible references from the New International Version.

Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus

2010-11-19T18:08:00.002-06:00

Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His Glory and Grace...
Helen H. Lemmel

Oh, how messy life can be! You might feel as though you've got it all pretty squared away and the things of life are moving along in the right direction... and WHAM! Someone, or something, puts a kink in your air hose and you find yourself fighting to reach the surface of sanity and for a breath of relief. All of a sudden, you are struggling to keep your head above the waters of despair, grief, anger, fear, or all of the above. We fight against the feelings of being overwhelmed, or at other times, we are paralyzed by worry and anxiety over tragedy and other things out of our control. After exhausting and draining every bit of our waning energy, we fall into bed at night unable to sleep and recharge as we rehearse our next move, think through the worst case scenarios, or spend worry on the endless possibilities.

WHY? Why do we even attempt to battle, defend, work, run and manipulate when the Word of God clearly tells us to rest... Rest in Him. Sisters, when we carry on out of our own strength and determination in the throws of trouble, we are disobeying direct orders from our Commander in Chief and we sin. Why do we press on in pride trying to handle things on our own? It makes no sense, yet I have struggled with this time and again. We tell the Almighty God of the universe, Creator of heaven and earth, that we are grateful that He sent His Son to die for us and raised Him from the dead. However, our actions are in contrast saying, "I don't trust You to take care of me or my problems. I got this one, I'll handle it." I might as well say to the Father, "I can throw my hands up in worship before a congregation of people, I will tell of Your wonders and grace, but I will not trust You to save me, carry me or heal me." Sisters, if this is all there is to Christianity and we are left alone to fend for ourselves, then why make Jesus our Lord and SAVIOR in the first place?

The beauty and blessing of being a child of the Most High God, is that He promises to love us, protect us, and use ALL things, even the greatest tragedy, for our good! He can redeem it all! All we must do is learn to rest and trust in Him. (Psalm 37:7) This may be difficult in the beginning, not because He makes it so, but because our flesh does. Although, if we continually call on Him for His peace that passes all understanding, and if we take every thought captive and hold them up to the light of His Word and Truth; He will train our hearts and minds to die unto our flesh and rest in His strong, capable, and loving arms.

It is in these times that our wonderful God draws us near if we will stop for a moment, ignore the whirling winds around us and listen to His calling... Calling to be still, stand and watch as He takes what we have, even the worst we can imagine, and see Him create beauty from ashes. (Ephesians 6:13, Isaiah 61:3) He will draw back the choking waters about our heads and turn it into wine that is sweet to our lips. He will strengthen our weary backs burdened with the things of life and uphold us with His mighty right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)

Oh, believe me, I can complain with the best of them in the midst of such worrisome and grievous days! Although, when I stop and press into Him instead, I find that these are some of the greatest moments with my Father. I now look forward to those times, ones so personally miraculous that they are indelibly written on my mind and spirit and can be recalled when other dark days come. Not to say that I want to invite trouble, but there is nothing like the moment when I finally decide to hold out my hands and give up my pathetic attempts to control my situation and life... and He lifts the burden from me, and I can almost tangibly feel the weight depart as His gentle love surrounds me. It is then that my light and momentary troubles seem to wash away. I can breath again and that deep indwelling joy begins to bubble back up to the surface and overflow, in the knowing that all of these things will be used for an eternal glory that will outweigh them all! (2 Corinthians 4:16-18) I love that place. That place in Him, where my spirit can find rest.

Will you hold out your troubles to Him today, and trust Him to complete the good work He started in your life? (Philippians 1:6) Will you allow Him to be more than just a passing thought or prayer at the dinner table, and allow Him to be your Savior? Your Friend? Your Protector? Your Provider? Your Rock? He is waiting for you, dear Sister, and He is able!

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

Ephesians 3: 17-19 Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. (New Living Translation)

Psalm 27:1 The LORD is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid?

Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Bible references from the New International Version, unless otherwise noted.

My Redeemer Lives - Team Hoyt

2010-09-29T07:38:00.000-05:00

Cyber Hussies

2010-09-22T21:47:00.009-05:00

Proverbs 11:22 Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.

There's just no skirting around this one, is there ladies? This verse is directly pointed at the world we live in... Worse, there are no longer just "Pigs," the population of "Piglets" is growing exponentially. In this modern media age, we find that the conveniences meant for expediency are also gateways to temptation, sin, and bondage we never anticipated... Even for our kids.

If you don't know what Sexting is by now, you are behind Mama, and it is time to catch up. The advent of digital EVERYTHING has somehow erased all sense of modesty. Every whim, impulse and poor choice is being recorded for all the world to see. Our kids have become so infatuated with themselves that they actually believe that others might like to see them at their worst and without inhibitions. Sadly, in these photo shoots, children lack as much common sense as they do clothing.

Don't give me one of those, "but my daughter goes to Christian school," or, "but we go to church every Sunday and Wednesday night," lines. The statistics tell us that even your precious child has likely been exposed to R and even X rated content on the web, but many children are just too embarrassed to talk about it with a parent or adult. However, that embarrassment is not likely to erase curiosity, nor does it seem to discourage peer interaction on the topic. I have been repeatedly floored by the conversations and pictures posted by some of the most lovely, polite, Mary-Jane shod, Christian girls. Don't let the sweet exteriors fool you, they are all subject to temptation.

Then there is the ubiquitous Facebook or MySpace profile picture. Darling, young girls looking up into their hand held cameras, positioned just so as to accentuate their best attempt at bedroom eyes and tantalizing views of brand new cleavage. COME ON! Sister, this is not child's play! This is children play acting their way into an adult world they know little to nothing about. These girls naively post without realizing the danger they are inviting, or the sin they are perpetuating. Yes... I said, "perpetuating." Romans 14:13 says, "Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way." Do you think these tweens and middle schoolers think about what boys... and men... do, or are tempted to do, when they see these pictures? Probably not. If they do, it is time to intervene, Mom; if they don't, it is time to fill them in.

Most girls think that participating in these things will only attract the attention of that cute boy they have their eye on. They never consider that their skinny jeans and tight tops are more explicit than an Anatomy 101 course. It is unlikely that it occurs to them that some pot-bellied, balding, "Old Fart" or their best friend's dad might be eating them alive with their eyes. They don't concern themselves with the starring roles they play in the minds of men and boys whom they wouldn't shake a stick at. They don't guess that they might wish they had a stick to shake, if they found themselves alone with one of these fellas!

Mom, do you know the new fun trend? Signing up on "Hook-up" sites with false identities, fake pictures and nasty language. One of the objectives is to see what lonely men your baby can strike up IM conversations with. If you are thinking, "Yikes," "Gad-Zooks," or "Heavens to Mergatroid," you are just getting a glimpse of how bad and how dastardly this little game is. Let your mind wander for a second on the possibilities and you won't even scratch the actual surface.

Am I being too harsh and dramatic here? I don't think so. Am I grossing you out? Good. Trust me, I don't think that every other man out there is a pervert, but do we really want our daughters unknowingly wagging a bone in front of one that is? I am OVER seeing the faces of beautiful girls pop up on my TV screen, followed by the cries of pleading parents in search of their beloved child. No, I am not suggesting that these girls invited their fates. Many of these kids are simply victims, and never participated in the stuff I describe above... However, the actions of others that elevated the excitement and frustrations of these sick minds sure did. Other insecure souls trusted the kind words of wolves that were dripping with seemingly innocent complements. They sucked up the sugary sweet blather that lured them into their inescapable trap. Either way, a tragedy followed and a blessing of a child's innocence or very life was lost.

What can we do about it? Kick ourselves in the pants for apathy, for starters! Get our lazy eyes off of reality shows and tune into the reality that our kids are subjected to daily. Trust me, there is FAR more drama to be had in middle school than on any Soap or "bake-off" show. Take TWO minutes a day to peek at cell phone texts, Facebook, MySpace and email accounts. YES, you are going to have to get your child's passwords. YES, your requests will likely be met with resistance and irritation... But, HELLO, doesn't that just make you want to investigate all the more? It is time for damage control, Mama. It is time to expose the secrets and talk candidly about dignity and discretion.

Didn't your mom make you sit in the kitchen, in front of her, when you spoke on the phone with a boy? Didn't your mom look at you like you had lost your mind if you asked to show a boy your room? Wouldn't your mom "kill you" if she knew you wrote a love note in class? If not, then sorry, you were short changed and you can do better. Trouble is, there are so many more ways, nowadays, for a girl to get into sticky situations and be lured into exposing what she might not really want to, because these little electronic gadgets make it so darn easy!

Now don't think I am suggesting you pack up and head to Amish country. Our girls need to learn to live in this digital and cyber age safely. But Mom, how are they going to do it if you don't teach them and monitor them? Yeah, they know more about this stuff than you do, but you knew more about modern things than your mom did, too - and you couldn't always sneak one by her. Just the fact that your daughter knows you are interested and vigilant will serve to bolster some self control.

Here are some simple things you can do to curb the possibility of cyber indiscretions:

- Have access to all computer accounts and passwords (even school email accounts - they are not monitored carefully). If you find your child on a non-disclosed account, restrict access to the computer... Honestly, she won't die! Not to mention, it won't change her social status at school... If it does, then she was hanging with the wrong crowd anyway, and you have done her a favor that she just might thank you for in under 15 years.

- Check your child's computer history so you can see where she has been. If your child routinely erases her browsing history, then restrict access - she is going places she knows she shouldn't. Did you know that YouTube is an easy access to porn? Yep, sorry to wreck it for you, but it isn't just about cute or funny video snip-its. This site, and ones like it, would be safer to access with parental supervision.

- Put a "Cyber-Sitter" on your child's computer - and on yours for that matter. You don't need to view the garbage that is out there anymore than she does. A great one is called Covenant Eyes. Go on, give it a google! It is a Christian based organization that strives to protect you and your children from the yuck lurking out there.

- Don't rely solely on your "Cyber-Sitter!" This is lazy parenting, and sitters can't eradicate every creep and creepy thing.

- Check out your child's friends on Facebook, MySpace and other sites. If they have pictures that are inappropriate, remove them from your child's friends list. Better yet, contact that child's parent and let them know what is being posted. I bet you 100 bucks they are unaware and would appreciate your help.

- Check your child's phone records and billing statements. Who is she talking to? Who is she texting? What time of day or night is she communicating? Is she erasing these contacts and messages from her phone? If so, Mama, it is time to put some limits on the phone.

- Call your child's cell phone service provider and remove any internet capabilities, especially if the provider does not offer "Cyber Sitters."

Some folks out there will be thinking, "But that is an invasion of their privacy." Really? What privacy? Privacy is earned, it is a privilege. Someone else might be sympathetic to their child's social standing, and be thinking, "This would be social suicide." Mom, it is time to put your daughter's safety and dignity before her popularity.

I know this all sounds like work. I know you have limited time, but the investment you make now will reap great dividends later, and you will have no regrets.

So, just one more thing to do...

Pray. Pray. Pray. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, is more important to your daughter's well being. Pray that God would put a foul taste in her spiritual mouth when she sees or hears unclean things. Pray that she would not be able to ignore the conviction of the Holy Spirit, and would only find true rest and satisfaction in Him. Pray that she will hunger and thirst for the righteousness of God. Pray that she will leave any insecurities behind that might outweigh what she knows to be right and true. Pray that she will find her true worth and security in Christ, and that His opinion of her will be all that matters to her. Pray that when she sins, her heart will be convicted, and will drive her to her knees at the foot of the cross, allowing Him to forgive her, pick her up, dust her off, and set her on a new path free of guilt and shame. He is able to do all things!

I Timothy 4:12 Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.

Bible references taken from the New International version

Psalms 23

2010-09-07T15:41:00.000-05:00

There's Something About Mary

2010-09-02T20:14:00.004-05:00

Isaiah 54:10 Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the LORD, who has compassion on you.

Do we believe those words? Do we really trust that God has compassion on us when someone like my friend Mary finds out she has cancer? Why Lord? Why would You let this happen to our beautiful, full of life, loving, joyful Mary? Mary is one of those people that EVERYONE likes and you never hear a negative about her or from her. She gives everyday all she has, serving her God, her husband, her family and anyone in need. She takes every opportunity to love and encourage others. Her smile and enthusiasm are contagious. She is one of those dear Sisters who has more time for you than you have for yourself.

Hearing her news hit me like a ton of bricks... It brought up that age old question for God, "Why do bad things happen to good people?" Surely, God loves us! He doesn't want us to suffer and He wants good things for His children... Right? This is certainly true, but where is the bridge from this truth to the other reality that Mary has a life-threatening disease?

Unfortunately, as we are readily aware, we live in a fallen world. Sin and corruption can often seem closer in everyday life than God Himself. Plain and simply, the culprit of all the bad things is sin. Sin, the decision to satisfy the flesh instead of being obedient to our God, has put our dear Sister in this perilous position. NOT her sin, mind you. I am talking about the fall, when mankind decided to sin against God and this world changed from one of perfection in paradise to a mere shadow of all He intended it to be.

God, acting in His disappointment in mankind, could have wiped us out right then. But instead, acting in His love for us and knowing that He would have to make the ultimate sacrifice for our selfishness, decided to give us free choice as we live out our days in the "bed" we made for ourselves. God gave us the opportunity to choose between sin and Him, so that we might come to Him of our own free will and know His goodness despite the evil that surrounds us in this fallen world. So, even if we choose to live our lives for God and walk with Him spiritually, we still physically walk in a world that has wandered far from Him and are temporarily trapped in bodies that desire to go their own way. The consequence of sin leaves us in this fragile condition of susceptibility to the unhappy things of this world. (John 16:33)

However (and here comes the good part), our hope lies in that God sent His Son as a ransom for that sin. (Romans 6:23) So that, if we believe in our hearts and confess with our mouths that Jesus is Lord, we are forgiven and can expect to live with Him for eternity as He intended (Romans 10:9). When we turn our lives over to Him, He sees us through the sanctifying lens of the sacrifice of His Son and promises to use ALL things for good in our lives because we love Him... YES! He can even use Mary's cancer for good. (Romans 8:28) God does not promise that living this life will be easy, even if we are walking with Him, but He does promise it will be fulfilling. (John 15:5, 16, Ephesians 2:10) If we open our hearts to God, He is able to fill us by His Holy Spirit with His deep indwelling peace and joy, giving us strength and hope as we follow Him, even through the midst of tragedy.

Really, in a strange way, there is no better person than Mary to get cancer. Uh-oh, I got your attention with that one, right? Hang on and stick with me here. In no way do I want my friend to suffer! Yet, her testimony in this difficult season is already touching and ministering to many, and will continue to do so. Mary is grounded in her faith and the unfailing love of God, because He has given her a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11) God's covenant of peace in her heart cannot be removed, not even by cancer! God has promised to use all things for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28), and He is using this disease to reveal the solid foundation of faith Mary has allowed Him to grow in her heart! She is able to look at this chapter of her life with joy and expectancy, waiting to see how He will use this for her good and the good of those she loves and comes in contact with. She sent me a note the other day and in it she said, "It has been a fun ride so far. Yes, I do mean fun." This is only possible by the grace and love of our Father. The joy of the Lord is her strength! (Nehemiah 8:10)

Mary's desire to walk hand in hand with her Lord through this will serve to glorify her Father in heaven. She is allowing Christ to live out this hardship through her, and eyes will see and ears will hear the witness of Christ in her. 2 Corinthians 4:7 says, "But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves." She will reap the reward in heaven someday as she sees the lives that were changed because of her faith and decision to let her light shine for Jesus in any circumstance. These lives touched will be the gems of her eternal crown. (1 Thessalonians 2:19)

Anyone who knows Mary, knows the joy and giggle of amazement in seeing her running down unexpected roads. While the rest of us are driving to the grocery store or post office, Mary is taking a run to somewhere and back, with a smile for anyone who whizzes by. We live in different places now, but just the sight of her stretching her legs would give me a little "kick in the pants," and I would feel an extra degree of motivation for the day. Her life reminds me of 1 Corinthians 9:24 "Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. (NASB)" Seeing her run is such an incredible illustration of what is the drive of her heart. Although she takes great care of her body, it is still simply a vehicle to carry her through this life of loving others, and into the hands of Jesus. Mary's focus is on the eternal, so her body is already of little consequence to her. (Revelation 12:11)

I pray that Mary is completely healed of this disease, and we know that God is able! In the meantime, Mary is able to rest in her Father and continue to enjoy life, even in adversity, because she knows that God holds the number of her days in His loving hands. (Psalm 139:16) Cancer is not in control, God is! What a blessing and promise! I am so thankful for Mary and the depth of her love and trust of her Savior! Thank you, Mary, for your example and testimony, we dearly love you.

Do you have a peace in your heart like Mary's? Do you want to live even the darkest of days with a deep indwelling joy that cannot be extinguished? God is ready to do that miracle in your heart and mine, all we need to do is ask! (Matthew 7:7)

John 16:33 "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

2 Corinthians 4:18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

Romans 8:6 For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace. (NASB)

All Bible references take from the New International Version unless otherwise noted.

New Creations in Christ

2010-08-16T14:18:00.008-05:00

Psalm 51:1 & 17 Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions... The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart.

Watching people publicly throw off their old life and lay all that they are at the feet of Jesus is an awesome sight to behold. Baptism never ceases to grab hold of my heart and remind me of the sacrifice Christ made for us on the cross. My heart is filled to overflowing as His love trickles over from the washing and cleansing of other souls. Baptism seems to be as much for the body of Christ in witness, as it is for the believer in proclamation.

Psalm 51:2 Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.

One little boy grabbed the mike to introduce himself, he couldn't have been more than six years old. He told those gathered there that he wants to live for Jesus, and then live with Him in heaven. Faith... Sweet, beautiful faith, coupled with wisdom, clarity, and boldness that only the Spirit can provide.

Psalm 51:6 Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.

A man, still in his Sunday best, stepped into the pool with his young daughter and lovingly held her as she was baptized... Then, he too gave himself away for the grace of the cross. Joy flooded his drenched face as he was brought up from the water. Tears flowed from the eyes of other believers with whispers of, "Yes Jesus," and, "Thank you Jesus." Then all broke into cheers and applause as they welcomed him into the family of God.

Psalm 51:7-9 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice. Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity.

This man had been saved that very day, being born again through repentance and faith. Then he publicly professed his new faith through a brief testimony and baptism, soaking his "dry clean only" clothes in front of complete strangers without a second thought. The overwhelming love of Christ that was poured out on Him through the Holy Spirit became his focus and direction while he simultaneously became a new creation, throwing off the old life and entering the new.

Psalm 51:14-15 Save me from bloodguilt, O God, the God who saves me, and my tongue will sing of your righteousness. O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise.

Isn't God amazing?! Isn't He good?! Even more, He blessed those there with the privilege of witnessing such a gift, such love, and change in the lives and hearts of new brothers and sisters that only He is capable of! Hallelujah!

Psalm 51: 10-12 Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

I am reminded of those beautiful words penned by Frances R. Havergal,

Take my life, and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days; let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands, and let them move at the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet, and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee.
Take my voice, and let me sing always, only, for my King.
Take my lips, and let them be filled with messages from Thee.
Take my silver and my gold; not a mite would I withhold.
Take my intellect, and use every power as Thou shalt choose.
Take my will, and make it Thine; it shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart, it is Thine own; it shall be Thy royal throne.
Take my love, my Lord, I pour at Thy feet its treasure store.
Take myself, and I will be ever, only, all for Thee.

May your heart be renewed today in the height, depth and breadth of God's love for you. He is ABLE!

Photography by Samantha Rigelsky

All Bible references taken from the New International Version.

2010-07-26T08:06:00.000-05:00

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

Praise God!

Taste and See that the Lord is Good!

2010-07-23T10:54:00.007-05:00

I have a dear Sister that was assigned to me... That's right, she was directed to take me on and love me. It reminds me of my dad's saying when he would joke with us, "You were so goofy looking when you were little; we had to tie a pork chop around your neck so the dog would play with you!" We kids thought that was so funny, and we would laugh and laugh. Anyway, I was such a mess in my twenties and early thirties, spiritually, that no one would have wanted to be tasked with loving me no matter what delicacy was dangling from my neck!

Don't get the wrong idea here, I am not feeling sorry for myself at all. When I look back and think of all the trouble I had gotten myself into, and how much I wanted others to see my "plight" and feel compassion for me on my terms... I wonder how this dear Sister was able to stick it out with me. But then, she never told me what I wanted to hear either, she told me the Truth. As she walked with me, and faithfully told me God's Truth in Love, I began to gain an appetite for it.

This dear Sister invited me to call her anytime, day or night... I think back to this open ended invitation and it floors me. She is a wife and home school mother to three, while keeping another part-time job. Her plate was full and I know sleep had to be a scarce and sacred commodity. Yet, when I called in the wee hours of the morning and drug her out of her cozy bed and away from the nearness of her husband, she never complained. She simply readied herself to listen and answer honestly in Truth. As painful as it was to hear sometimes, I always went away feeling as though my malnourished heart and mind had been fed a healthy and satisfying meal. I left with a good taste in my spiritual mouth and could fall asleep and rest, as my heart digested the Word and wisdom God faithfully spoke through her. Her and her family's selflessness and sacrifice was true love, used by the Father to help save me and spur me on down the path I had wandered so far from.

I often think of my Sister's marvelous ability to relate all the blessings and Truths of God's Word to food. The Word says in Psalm 34:8, "Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him," and that is exactly how she related God's Word to me through those years, and still today. God, in His clever and awesome orchestration knew full well how I would respond to those illustrations. Those that know me best understand that in my mind, all things pleasurable revolve around good food and conversation. God gave me the gift of a friend that is closer than a brother and could teach me to feast on the Word of God.

You might hear her say of a good book or testimony, "Yum! That was so chalk full of Truth, I had to munch, crunch and chew on that for a few days... Delicious!" In passing, you may think she was talking about her most recent and delightful gastronomic experience, when in fact; it is actually her spirit that is devouring delectable dishes of Truth. It is her spirit that she keeps well fed, which in turn, continues to grow a strong and healthy faith, steeped in the blessings and riches of Christ. Her carefully trained and sensitive palate relishes the sweet milk of God's Word, while sipping on the tender love and gentleness of the Father. Carefully, mulling over, tasting and testing each glorious promise, savoring each enticing aroma of hope, grace and salvation.

Yet, she also has a great appetite and sturdy gut for the bold, rich fare of meat in God's Word; meat that smacks of careful and honest reflection. Her devoted heart demands that nothing is wasted and that her spirit receives and responds to all that the Father holds for her. Robust and sharp flavors linger, flavors that need time and discipline to become acquired tastes of the heart and spirit. Sometimes shocking piquant morsels, that others may purposely ignore or miss, are sought after to wake the spirit and provoke growth and broadened understanding.

This is who I want to be. One that truly hungers and thirsts for the righteousness of God, desiring His Truth at the cost of complacent comfort. Thank you, Sister, for your love, example, and testimony. Thank you for your heart and belly for Jesus!

Matthew 5:6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

Isaiah 55:1-2 Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost. Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.

All Bible references taken from the New International Version.

Daughter of the King or Drama Queen?

2010-07-12T22:02:00.022-05:00

Have you been sucked in by the drama of Housewives? Either in the semi-reality display on our cable TV or in the comfort of our own neighborhoods, sometimes even in our church families, it plays out. We would like to pretend that we have risen above our seventh grade antics of gossiping, ugly stares, cold shoulders, cliques and the rest... But, have we really, or have we just graduated into more expensive shoes and bigger bras? If we don't actively participate in the shenanigans, it can be tempting to gawk from the sidelines for a giggle or a snicker.

Chicks are tough, there is no doubt about it. From a very early age, the female mind can size up another person in seconds flat, determining everything from taste and status to confidence and likability. Of course the scale or measuring stick is completely subjective and subject to instantaneous adjustment by the assessor. However, in the female world, subjective is king or should I say, "queen."

Sadly, all of it... and I mean ALL of it, stems from feelings of insecurity. Even more tragic, is that it passes from mother to daughter with more ease than most genetic traits. Daughters quickly pick up on their mother's responses and reactions and begin to deal with the world and women around them in a very similar way. Catty responses slide off the tongue with greater ease as the years pass. What should bring admiration for the complexity and diversity of God's creation in other women, instead begins to beckon disdain and irritation. It becomes simpler to dislike someone for what makes them special than to explore the gift God has offered there. Walls are built, and a few "Besties" or "BFFs" are allowed inside. Often though, these "close" friends never truly search out the depths of each other's spirits, because to expose a soft side to anyone could be social suicide.

Sisters, if we don't take the time to expose and correct these lies in our own hearts and minds and truly learn who we are in Christ, we run the risk of sending our own daughters down a road of dissatisfaction, discontentment, and disappointment. If we place our confidence and worth in anything other than our Lord and Savior, we are setting ourselves up for nothing but regret. What an empty offer to our daughters.

If your daughter's confidence is in her beauty, she will be disappointed because it is fleeting and flawed, even though those flaws may be difficult for you to see. If her confidence is in her intellect, she will be disappointed when she is stumped in its limitations. If her confidence is in her popularity, she will be disappointed when someone else upstages her since infatuation is fickle. If her confidence is in her wealth, she will be disappointed when she finds it cannot buy her love, security, friends or faithfulness. If her confidence in her position, she will be disappointed to find there is always someone above her. If her confidence is in her sexuality and ability to seduce, she will be disappointed when the man she desires is looking for more depth than she can offer; and hurt when she realizes that the men who are drawn to her are not interested in her heart, but only their own selfish gratification.

All the things that the world holds in esteem are only empty promises of satisfaction and happiness. The thrill WILL be temporary and won't provide lifelong fulfillment, joy or peace. In fact, because these worldly ideals are temporal and ever changing, they only create feelings of fear and anxiety... A girl will eventually know deep down that there is no real security in these things, but because she has never experienced the true acceptance of Christ, she will continue to work tirelessly to produce acceptance from the world. Fear of rejection can override all common sense and is the cause of countless casualties of virtue (Proverbs 11:22).

Insecurity grabs hold as the heart looks to avoid the world’s rejection and self-preservation is sought at all costs. Girls learn early that they must be the best, and if they are not, they must bring down those getting in their way. You know the drill; this is where "Mean Girl" meets "Victim Girl." It is hard to not be one or the other, unless you are the girl who is sucking up to the "Mean Girl," in attempt to keep her off of your own back. The drama unfolds as the female mind convinces herself that if she draws attention to other people's flaws, the focus of the world audience will shift, and hopefully, no one will notice her own. It becomes an endless cycle that isolates women from others, when God has actually wired us to grow and thrive in relationships. In the insecure heart lives a girl who never really rests and trusts, knowing more loneliness than she would care to admit.

If we allow ourselves to believe that anything is more important about us than how God views us, we will be insecure for as long as we believe it, and so will our girls. They may not be able to express it fully, but deep down they understand that their beauty and abilities are limited, finite, and unreliable - no one can fully rest and trust in themselves or their own flawed human frailty. Only Jesus is limitless, infinite and totally reliable. He is where we can truly rest, trust and find confidence (2 Corinthians 12:9).

A daughter of the Most High God, who knows where her true value lies, has a grace, assurance and confidence that are not shattered by the world's definition of beauty or value. Harsh words, mean stares and cold shoulders of cruel, insecure girls are only inconvenient, not catastrophic. She understands that their response to her is immaturity and insecurity. She can learn to see them as God sees them, and have compassion and sympathy for them in their fruitless pursuits. She can love them with Christ’s love, as He first loved her. She can see their perspective as a lack of Christ in their lives, recognizing that they are not fully trusting in God for their value and leading. She knows that only her God is unchanging and only His perspective, plan and purpose matter! Despite what anyone says or thinks - peace, joy and contentment come in the knowing that He has a future and a hope for her (Jeremiah 29:11)

The Lord desires to show you His Truth that will protect your heart and not allow the destructive lies of the world to derail your self-worth... or maybe better put, your "God-worth." He is ABLE!

Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

Galatians 1:10 Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.

Philippians 3:20-21 But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.

Romans 8:37-39 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

All Bible references taken from the New International Version.

Food, Fun and Freedom

2010-07-02T11:48:00.002-05:00

For years I looked forward to the fourth of July for the food, fun and lit up night sky. The sound of birds chirping, flags flapping in the breeze, and squeals from squirt gun fights. Little ones entranced with the marvel of holding sparklers, while simultaneously feeling anxious at the gradual procession of flame down the wand toward their chubby fingers. The air smelling of seared meat, citronella, sunscreen, burnt matches, cut grass, and sweaty kids; a marvelous concoction that can lour even the biggest Party-Poop out and into a lawn chair. A reason to miss work and the expectation to make a mess, irresistible!

It wasn't until I was in my thirties and married to a career Navy-man, that I actually began to consider the celebration in a different light. The turning point for me was one of many opportunities to see my husband salute the flag and stand at attention for the National Anthem... In that moment I began to realize the full weight of symbolism our flag and great hymn of freedom held, being won at the loss of dearly loved husbands, fathers, sons and brothers. The often gruesome endings these patriots realized while never expecting their names to be written on a monument or found in a history book. Yet they gave all they had, that we might enjoy the freedoms we know today.

How often do we think of the lives lost so that we might read God's Word without fear of being thrown in prison or even killed? Do we ever consider in the car on the way to church, that people died so that we could come together in fellowship with our brothers and sisters in Christ? Do the fireworks remind us of what they were intended to symbolize, "the rockets red glare, the bombs bursting in air," and the death of freedom fighters who paid the ultimate price so that our opinions and beliefs might be protected and heard? It is sobering, isn’t it? Yet, still a marvel to celebrate! What a heritage, what a country, what a gift to live in the United States of America! A land where each citizen holds an inheritance that grants them the opportunity to realize their dreams. An inheritance left by selfless people who sacrificed their life to make their dream of freedom real for you and I, while never having the opportunity to experience liberty themselves. Incredible.

If you have the opportunity this weekend or in the days to come, thank a soldier or veteran for the selfless decisions they have made to protect and serve, so that we might continue to enjoy the land of the free and the home of the brave.

John 15:13 Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus

2010-06-28T12:50:00.007-05:00

Daughters, Dads, and the One True Father

2010-06-18T14:43:00.016-05:00

I was with my Bible study girls yesterday. We are on our usual summer hiatus because of all the activities of summer, but there are a few of us who want and need the fellowship and accountability. Without even realizing the timing of our conversation with Father's day fast approaching, the girls set out to comfort one of our own whose earthly father has been less than perfect. Years of grief over his abuse, lack of understanding and selfish ways had taken their toll. Her heart for this man, that she hoped would love her, was broken.

This precious group of women shared one by one the deep wounds their hearts had also suffered as children and adults. One friend told about the hurt of never knowing her biological father. She was the product of her mother's adulterous relationship, who along with her husband, decided to raise her. Who knows if it was his resentment of the relationship that produced this dear Sister, or if he was simply a sick man; but the father she knew repeatedly abused her for his own selfish gratification.

Another woman shared how she and her mother were abandoned by her father and she never knew him, always wondering if he loved her or if he even cared that she was alive. She wrote him letter after letter growing up, never once receiving any response. Her childhood followed a mother through various relationships and no real decent man to call on as "daddy."

Even another Sister expressed how she lived the presumed "perfect family life" with a mother and father committed to one another. Yet her father was a perfectionist and she never felt as though she could measure up and meet his expectations. She lived through her childhood feeling like an unaccepted failure.

The young woman, who was so hurt by her disappointment in her dad, listened intently to the devastating stories. You might think that the grief piled up as these women shared, but actually, it was quite the opposite. What came through each story loud and clear was the nearness of Christ as He met them in their hurt and longing to be loved. Every daughter has a deep desire (one of these Sister's even described it as desperation) to be loved and valued by a father. What was learned through the pain of unfilled voids that sought a daddy's adoration was that their true Father in heaven loved them completely and would heal all their wounds.

These women found that they had to stop counting on mere humans for fulfillment, completion, happiness, love, approval, acceptance, security and so much more. Instead, they now choose to place their full trust and hearts in the hands of Jesus, and they are finally free. Liberty came at the realization that these dads, as well as everyone else in their lives, would surely disappoint simply because of their human frailty. Now they are free to accept these men for who they are and what they lacked. They can love them with the same love that Christ first showed them, with hearts full of grace and forgiveness, no longer burdened with bitterness and hurt. Moreover, they shared the victory in following the Lord and marrying the men of His choosing, men that are all they could hope for as fathers to their children.

I won't suggest that all the pain is gone all the time, they never suggested that. However, when the little things come that remind them of past injuries, and the sting begins to well up, they turn to their true Father who will never leave them or forsake them. (Hebrews 13:5) They climb into the lap of His love and feel His arms of strength, security and protection wrap around them. They are able to rest in the knowing that He alone is their identity, hope, and eternity. NOTHING can separate them from His love. (Romans 8:38-39, Hebrews 4:16)

I have had my feelings crushed by people in the past, mostly due to poor decisions on my part. However, my dad was a blessing to me growing up. I remember him as a leader, a firm disciplinarian with a gentle hand and always a hug, having a genuine interest in everything I did or said... Allowing me to feel secure in knowing I could always approach him and be lovingly received. His example is a wonderful reflection of our Father in heaven. As I listened to these women I was again reminded of the blessing and gift of my dad, but also, how faithful our Father God is to use all things for good. God redeemed, for His glory, the deficits in the lives of these women. (Romans 8:28)

Though I might have initially considered these accounts as loss in their lives, nothing could be further from the truth! Surely it would be loss without faith in Christ, but with Him, even these tragedies worked to build strength, character, and greater faith and hope. These women have such a sweet and deep reliance and trust in their Lord. There is a peace of heart grounded in the promise of His approval, acceptance and devotion to them. They are filled to overflowing with the joy of being a daughter truly loved and valued. This assurance and confidence in their Father and God is something that many believers seek to know. So, any loss has become their gain in Christ! I am so thankful for these sisters, their testimonies, and their willingness to share with us how God has revealed to them who their true Father is. For them, He is all that matters. With this in mind, we can all give thanks this Father's Day for a Daddy's love that will never fail.

2 Corinthians 6:18 "I will be a Father to you, and you will be My sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty."

John 1:12-13 Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in His Name, He gave the right to become children of God— children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God.

Psalm 68:5 A Father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy dwelling.

Hebrews 13:5b In a variety of translations to emphasize how much He cares for you!
...God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." (New International Version)
...God has said, "I will never fail you. I will never abandon you." (New Living Translation)
...He has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” (English Standard Version)
...He Himself has said, "I WILL NEVER DESERT YOU, NOR WILL I EVER FORSAKE YOU." (New American Standard Bible)
...God has said, "I will never leave you or abandon you." (International Standard Version)
...God has said, "I will never abandon you or leave you." (God's Word Translation)

Bible references taken from the New International Version unless otherwise noted.

Who Is the Beholder of Your Beauty?

2010-06-02T18:38:00.005-05:00

"Mama?" My five year old daughter asked quietly.
"Yeah?" I answered.
"Julie says that her Mama told her that she is the most beautiful girl in the whole world."
"Huh?" I asked, giving her my full attention.
"She said that if her Mama said it, then it's true." She looked at me with questioning eyes.
"Hmmmm." My mind whirling as it donned on me how destructive these simple little "loving" comments could really be.
"Is it true Mama? Is she the most beautiful girl in the whole world? Her Mama tells her that every night before she goes to bed." She searched my face for a response and reassurance.
I took my daughter's hand, sat her down with me and looked her straight in the eye. "Yes." I said, seeing the surprise of disappointment on the most beautiful face I have ever seen. "She is the most beautiful girl in the world, to her Mama. Sometimes, Mama's can only see beauty in their own children. Her Mama wasn't lying to Julie; she probably believes what she says. But, what she said isn't true to everyone. Do you understand?"
"No." She said with tears starting to well in her eyes.
I realized in that moment that my daughter wanted me to tell her that she was the most beautiful girl in the whole world. I wanted to cave and tell her what she wanted to hear. Then, I realized that I had allowed the values of the world to begin to shape my daughter's perspective of what was important about her. I had not intervened and directed her to who Christ says that she is. I had even contributed to the frailty of her developing self value by putting emphasis more on her outward appearance than on her heart and relationship with Jesus. That was the changing moment, and I asked God to help me to know what to say next. I didn't want to hurt her, but I had to disappoint her with truth in love, so that she would not be devastated later by the lie she had been learning. The lie that so many of us get sucked into, and waste time, money and energy on instead of things of true value. In retrospect, maybe I could have been more gentle. Although, in the moment, I didn't have the benefit of hindsight. In fact, I was quite disturbed by the worldly education of superficial values she was already being indoctrinated with. So I continued on.
"You are a beautiful girl. God made you. He created every detail of you, and there is no one like you. But... there will always be someone prettier, smarter, or more creative than you are, or I am." She was really upset now. "They are prettier, smarter and more creative because that is what the world says they are. The 'world' is what people think and believe. But those things are NOT what God says is important. It isn't fair for Julie's Mama to tell her those things."
"Why?" She cut in.
"She means it to be nice, but really, Julie is only going to be sad when she realizes that not everyone thinks that she is the prettiest girl in the whole world." She looked at me intently. "It would be better if Julie's Mama told her how she is beautiful to God." As I was talking, I realized I had been doing just as poorly in this area of parenting as Julie's mother. "What really matters is who God says we are, and what HE says is beautiful about us."
"What does He say?" She asked.
"God says that what is beautiful about us is our hearts - the inside person; how we love Him and want to know Him; how we love others and serve others for Him. These are the things that are really beautiful and the Bible teaches us how to have this kind of beauty. We are supposed to take care of our bodies because God gave them to us and they are His temple, but they are not what is most important about us. What is truly beautiful about you is that you love Jesus and you want to know Him more. You are His child, His treasure; He loves you and wants you with Him. You are His beautiful creation, He knows everything about you and will ALWAYS love you."
Relief and joy flooded her face. She hugged me like I had told her the best news in the entire world, and really, I finally had. His truth set her free. Free to seek the Lord's approval instead of people's approval.
Surely, the female mind and heart love to hear that she is beautiful. Being "pretty" in a princess dress to "lovely" in a wedding gown are addresses to our femininity, and they bless us. The trick is, to teach our children not to desire this approval above all else. It would be better to raise a daughter who appreciates a complement, but wholly desires to know who she is in Christ. Of course we want her husband to appreciate her beauty. However, it is far more important that she is drawn to a man who thinks her walk with Christ is her most beautiful quality.
Maybe you believed the lies about what the world told you is beautiful. Maybe you have unwittingly taught your children these things as well. It can be hard to avoid in this superficial world we live in. Don't despair; simply turn to your Father in heaven! He wants to show you just how precious and beautiful you are to Him. He will forgive your missteps and give your heart and mind a new perspective, if you ask Him. He will grow in you a beauty that will not fade.
After that conversation, my daughter loved to say, "I am God's beautiful creation!"... She is, and so are you!

Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

1 Peter 3:3-4 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

2 Corinthians 4:16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.

Bible references taken from the New International Version

Premarital Sex... It Gets Worse

2010-05-28T12:35:00.002-05:00

OK Sisters, it is time to get down to the nitty-gritty. Yep, we are going to talk about sex–risks of premarital sex, to be more to the point—and some of the medical effects you may not be aware of. Sure, you probably got the spiel from your 6th or 7th grade health teacher. However, there is some recent news out there that is going to transform the way you think about sexually transmitted diseases... and if it doesn't, then baby, we need to pray about your death wish!

I was listening to a medical study review (nerdy, I know) on the radio the other day and I was reminded of how loving God is. He is not (contrary to what some believe) a "Fun-Sucker" or a "Kill Joy." He is quite the opposite, really. He is the Creator of everything that is good, including laughter, love, marriage and yes—sex. However, He is also a loving Father who wants the best for His children; and despite our sinful nature, I believe He wants to keep us from making decisions that will cut short our days. This is why the Bible is so frank about one such decision: whether or not to have sex outside of marriage. Now, don't go closing this post thinking, "BOOORRRRRRING, irrelevant, old-fashioned!" or "Been there, done that, this one doesn't apply to me!" Wrong! There is no one more relevant than Jesus and nothing more relevant than His Word.

The medical study revealed that new research shows many cancers are actually secondary to infection... Sister, "secondary to infection" means that certain infections cause cancer. In particular, viral infections, and even more specifically, infections from sexually transited diseases (STDs). Sadly, medical research is finding that these STDs can and often do cause cancers later in life.

For example, you probably already know that certain strains of Human Papilloma virus, or HPV (genital warts), can cause deadly cervical cancer (not to mention other life altering effects, like the inability to have children). To make matters worse, many men are unaware that they are carriers of HPV because they often don't show signs or symptoms. This is tragic, since many men will unknowingly infect their bride, the love of their life, once they decide to settle down. She will then bear the consequences of his and other people's poor choices.

That's fine, because it won't happen to you, right? Well, wait a minute! Let's just bring this information down to a reality level, and the consequences into your own backyard. It is now estimated that 20 million people are infected in the USA; 5.5 million will be infected this year, and that is JUST with HPV. That, my friend, is A LOT of busy people... Hopefully, people will find this more concerning when they begin to learn that there is also a link between HPV and both oral and lung cancers. Have you ever seen the effects of oral cancer? If you aren't faint of heart, give it a google. The treatment is not guaranteed, and the face and neck deformities can be devastating. I have taken care of many people with lung disease and cancer; it too, is not pretty.

Then there’s "Kissing Disease." As a nurse, this one was a shocker for me to hear. Mononucleosis or Epstein Barr virus, aka "Mono" is actually linked to head and neck cancers, lymphoma, aggressive breast cancers and pediatric cancers. Other breast cancers are now being linked to other viruses as well—viruses transmitted by sex.

Another common infection, Trichomoniasis (7.4 MILLION new cases each year in the USA), is now known to cause prostate cancer in men. There isn't a huge increase in risk of disease after this infection. However, if cancer does follow, the patient is three times more likely to die from it, than if he had not been infected. So, the thought is, that when this virus causes cancer, it is a cancer that is much more aggressive and deadly.

All of this goes way beyond our previous thinking that most STDs are just irritating infections that could be medically treated and the effects eliminated... These studies show that even though a person may be successfully treated for a "less serious" STD, there can still be devastating effects from these things later in life. Out the door goes the notion of HIV/AIDS as the only deadly STD.

So... How do I tie all this stuff to the idea that we have such a loving God? Dear Sister, He tells us to avoid premarital sex, casual sex, and adultery to SAVE US! Not to upset our fun! Once sin entered this world, He knew what the consequences would be for different choices and sins. God is not old fashioned, He has been ahead of our medical knowledge all along. He warns us in His Word to lovingly protect us. Does a child have to know the extent of injury they will experience if they touch a hot stove, in order to obey instructions not to touch it? NO! We expect our children to trust us and respect us enough to obey, despite their understanding of consequences.

It is time to trust the Lord for His love, direction and protection. Listening and obeying Him, in all things, even if we don't fully understand why. Jesus says in John 10:10b that he came that we might have life and have it abundantly. If we follow His leading in our lives, we can trust that He will bless us. However, do you know what the first half of that verse says? "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy." Anything not of God, is of who? Sin and/or the enemy, and what is the result? Death. God couldn't be more plain about the Truth, so why do we ignore it?

I Corinthians 6:18 says, "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body." Why then would we doubt God's relevance? There is more disease and death due to sexual sin than any other time in history. Our culture and others are bearing the fruit of that sin in disease and death.

If you have been infected with an STD in the past, my point here is not to scare you. Instead, my intent is to give you the head knowledge you need to take care of yourself. Mostly, I hope this awakens your spirit to relying on God for His direction. If you have concerns, talk these things over with your doctor next time you see him/her. Even more importantly, talk these things over with God! If your health is at risk, ask your church elders to council you and lay hands on you for healing. God is bigger than all these things, but He also gives us direction to protect us and help us avoid trouble.

Unfortunately, this post has only covered a glimpse of the terrible effects casual sex can have on your physical body. As so many of us know, it carries an even higher price for our hearts and minds. The damage to the physical body is just a shadow of what it does to the spirit. So, spare yourself the hurt, and enjoy the freedom and thrill that comes from waiting for God's perfect choice for you in a husband. The blessings will be countless for you as well as your spouse! 2 Timothy 2:22 tells us to flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

For those who are struggling with the hurt of past mistakes, take heart! God can heal and restore your spirit. You may have waded through the mire, but He will pull you out and set your feet on solid ground. He can make your heart, and even your body, whole again. Just because we have sinned doesn't mean that we cannot begin with a renewed heart today! The Bible says, and that lovely song goes, "Create in me a clean heart, Oh God, and renew a right spirit within me!" So, sit tight and give your loving Heavenly Father the opportunity to start fresh in you today, and provide you with the protection He desires for the body He created for you. If you need encouragement, please contact me here.

Biblical references found in the NASB and NIV translations.

Come Just As You Are

2010-05-19T13:39:00.005-05:00

Are you here looking? Are you trying to find out if this Jesus you have heard about is for real? Are you wondering if it is possible to really believe the Bible, the Word of God? Maybe you are questioning whether or not you are worthy? Maybe you are thinking that you need to clean up your act before you take your opportunity to meet Jesus? Do you think that He won't want to hear from you until you get yourself together?

Nothing could be further from the truth! If you are feeling a tug at your heart, if you want to know more - know this: God Himself is pursuing you, calling you, wanting you to know Him, and wanting you to understand how much He loves you JUST AS YOU ARE! The very God of the universe is waiting for you, is deeply interested in every detail about you, and is longing for a relationship with you!

Jesus, God's Son, didn't come to earth to spend time with "perfect" people or the "righteous." He came to be with sinners, like you and I, not to stoop or fall to our level, but to love us up to His - by His grace, mercy and salvation. He came to die for your sins and mine, but would have endured it all, even if it was just for one of us.

He wants to fill the holes in your heart that hurt, grief, and disappointment have made. He wants to relieve your fears. He wants to give you peace that passes all understanding. He wants to set your feet on firm ground and lead you down the path and perfect plan He has for your life. He wants to bring joy to your heart. He wants to show you the love you have been looking for your entire life. He wants you to see how beautiful you are to Him, His precious child and incredible creation. He wants you to spend eternity with Him.

It sounds so good, doesn't it? What are you waiting for? Are you thinking that you want this to be true and you want to believe, but... You know, there was a man in the Bible who's heart struggled with belief and he was even able to meet Jesus face to face! Still, he struggled with faith. I believe this man's story was included in the Bible for the reassurance of your heart.

In the book of Mark chapter 9, we read about a man whose son was suffering because of demon possession. The man came to Jesus and asked, "...But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us. "'If you can'?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes." Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" (vs. 22b-24)

If you too are struggling with belief, simply ask Jesus to overcome it in you! Tell Him you want Him to be the Lord of your life and that you want to turn from your sins and be forgiven. Ask Him to help you walk in His love and forgiveness, and teach you the fullness of His grace. Ask Him to help you believe that He can do all that He says He can in and through you! Ask Him for support and council through people who love Him and who will disciple you. He will do it! Just as you are, He will receive you and make you new. Don't try to clean yourself up first; it is an impossible task for anyone. Let Him pour out His love and Holy Spirit upon you, this is what will wash your heart and life clean.

Our pastor spoke on this subject last Sunday. He put it this way, "Jesus called His disciples to be fishers of men. Now, I may not be a fisherman, but I do know one thing. You have to catch a fish before you can clean it!" So true! Let Jesus capture your heart and life today, and He will take care of the rest!

2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

Romans 10:9-13 That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. As the Scripture says, "Anyone who trusts in Him will never be put to shame." For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, for, "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."

Song: Come Just As You Are, Crystal Lewis
Come just as you are
Hear the spirit call
Come just as you are
Come and see
Come receive
come and live forever

Come just as you are
Hear the spirit call
Come just as you are
Come and see
Come receive
Come and live forever

Life everlasting
Strength for today
Taste the living water
And never thirst again

Come and see
Come receive
Come and live forever

Life everlasting
Strength for today
Taste the living water
And never thirst again

Come and see
Come receive
Come and live forever

Life everlasting
Strength for today
Taste the living water
And never thirst again
Life everlasting
Strength for today
Taste the living water
And never thirst again

Come just as you are
Don't you hear the spirit call
Come just as you are
Come and see
Christ my King
Come and live forevermore

Biblical references taken from the New International Version

Porn Dust In His Eye, Fantasy Plank In Hers

2010-05-13T16:34:00.002-05:00

You have likely heard those words of Jesus' that can be found in a couple places in the Gospel, as in Matthew 7:3-5 "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye, when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your bother's eye."

Sisters, why do we as women look down so smugly, so disgustingly, on men who struggle with the sin of pornography? Why do we have even an ounce of self-righteousness, when there is such an insidious sin that is no less damaging, invading the lives and hearts of countless women both in and out of the church? Yet this is rarely touched on. It is possible, that men don't understand the depth to which this stronghold in women's lives is damaging their marriages, and so they leave it alone. Instead, often they are guilted into believing that they are solely responsible for the breakdown in a marriage because of their wandering eyes... But have you ever stopped to consider the damage of a wandering heart and mind?

Sure, the pornography industry is booming these days, and it is nothing less than gross. But ladies, just as popular with females, has been the fantasy industry. Like porn, with its pictures, videos, websites, etc., fantasy comes in various forms too. Romance novels being a huge outlet, plus movies, TV shows, talk shows, and reality shows. Oh yes, and magazines that perpetuate the more popular fictional and celebrity romances. They create buzzes about other possibilities for our love lives through their quizzes and fake sex questions. This "entertainment" is effortlessly able to drag the mind down winding roads of "what ifs," sucking women down fruitless paths by imagining ways of cornering or trapping the man of their dreams... even if she or that man is already married.

You may say, "Wait a minute! Those things are harmless; they aren't filled with filthy pictures and lewd scenes!" Oh no? Just because there aren't photos or videos of the actual acts, doesn't make them any less graphic.

Think about it for a minute. The man brain is wired for visual stimulation, hence the cat calls and whistles when a lovely gal walks by a group of interested men, or the tractor beam eyes that can instantly find fabulous cleavage in a sea of bystanders. The man brain is, at least initially, moved by what it SEES.

The woman brain, as we know, is different. Sure we like the look of a handsome fella, but of far greater importance is how he fits into our preconceived notion of the perfect Prince Charming. His thoughts, his actions, his ability to protect and fight for his woman, his gentleness and tender heart - that only she gets to experience.... his willingness to follow her and find her, to be with her at any cost. This is what gets at the heart of a woman, and that is why we don't need a physical picture. This becomes pretty evident when one of these characters is cast in a movie. Seriously, he doesn't have to be THAT attractive. Heck, the character doesn't even have to be HUMAN! He will be nice looking, because he is a product of Hollywood, but he doesn't have to be a woman's physical picture of perfect. She will still adore him because she loves the way his mind works.

The male mind is wired so that it can reach optimal excitement with just a peek at something sexual. We on the other hand are a little more complicated. More often than not, women want and even need to be wooed and romanced, in order to truly let go and enjoy sexual intimacy. We often need to experience relationship, emotional intimacy and trust, to totally let our hair down.

So the story builds... It begins with a description of the heroine, and then a description of the hero. Followed by a walk down the story line, to find the details of how these two incredible people miraculously found their perfect soul mate, out of the millions of possibilities in this great big world. Now, sneak down the trail of their budding relationship, and the odds they prevail against to make their perfect love work... Eyes breathlessly zip across line after line, as hearts pound and minds imagine and enter another couple's most intimate moments... This, dear Sister, is porn of the heart. Anytime we sneak into the intimacy of another relationship in our minds, whether real or imagined, we are voyeurs... Our minds are imaginative and creative, we don't need a picture to reach the same result; we need a story and it culminates into the same sin as the man looking at dirty magazines. Lust.

You may be thinking, "Well, this doesn't apply to me, I just skip over the explicit parts." Come on Sister, don't allow your heart be deceived! That statement is akin to that ridiculous male comeback that he only "reads Playboy for the articles." The Bible says in Jeremiah 17:9 "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" When we allow ourselves to linger in the world of someone else's relationship and imagine their emotional or sexual intimacy, we are lusting. Jesus says in Matthew 5:27-28, "You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." This goes both ways, girls. When we think of being with someone else intimately, or even imagine ourselves in another woman's life and love, whether emotionally or physically, we are committing adultery.

Oh the damage it does, when we allow lust into our hearts and homes. Surely, a wife who finds that her husband is using porn feels cheated on. She asks herself, "Why am I not good enough? Am I not pretty or sexy enough?" It can be crushing to her. But think of it: If a man truly understood what a romance novel or other medium does to the heart and mind of a woman... If he knew how she preferred to think of a character in a book before she thought of him, wouldn't his heart be hurt too? He may already wonder why his wife has no interest in him sexually, why she is satisfied to live without the romance they used to share. There is a simple answer for him: If she is satisfying her need for romance through her imagination, there is no need to seek him out for it. It may not even occur to her that, in turn, his needs are no longer being met, and the temptation to look outside the marriage for stimulation is becoming stronger and stronger. I Corinthians 7:4-5 says, "The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." Don't be a stumbling block - don't let your actions give another soul room to sin (I Corinthians 8:9).

If you are not married yet, you ought to put these things down as well. If you are wrapped up in someone else's love affair, how in the world are you going to recognize the one meant for you? Your mind and heart will be dulled to the leading of the Spirit and the intentions and affections of someone really special! Because, quite honestly, the romance waiting for you will look nothing like what you read about... but, it will be better.

As a society, we are also teaching our daughters at younger and younger ages to enter this world of lust and fantasy. I don't have to tell you what the most recent romance is, the characters are household names... but is that what you truly want for your daughter? Expectations so high that no decent, loving man could ever meet. What about the possibility of your daughter missing out on the man God chose for her because she will not be able to see him through Christ's eyes? Instead she will see him as lacking through the eyes of worldly romance rubbish! Maybe the liability of your daughter growing to live a life of secret disappointment, because her husband isn't rescuing her and sweeping her off her feet every moment? WHAT ARE WE DOING?! Why would we allow our children to enter this world and destroy their abilities to discern reality from fiction, to taint their minds with lies of the world. We would be leaving them to forever wonder if they aren't good enough for the "perfect" love they've learned to look for, never realizing it is actually made-up, fictional love.

Maybe this is already you and what you experience in your home... When we allow our hearts to graze on perceived greener grass, all we are doing is feeding a spirit of discontentment. When we turn our minds and hearts inward to think of only our needs and wants, or when we nurse desires that no human could ever meet, we build walls of selfishness around our hearts that no one will ever be able to scale. You say you want love, but Sister, what is love? Love is laying one's life down for another (John 15:13). It is selflessness... looking for ways to fulfill the needs of our mate, and others, before our own.

Why settle for second best? Why settle for romance written by limited, finite human brains? Why not allow God to show you the depth of the romance He intended? Take this before the Lord, ask for forgiveness and allow Him to rid your heart and mind of these imagined romances and then reenter reality, where real love and real intimacy can be experienced. Everything He does far exceeds our thoughts or expectations, and only His Way is able to fill and satisfy our longing hearts. Choose Him today, and let Him author the romance to surpass all romances, through you ! Isaiah 55:9 says, "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts." What a hope and assurance that we can trust Him to do more than we could ever dream!

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

2 Corinthians 10:5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Ephesians 3:20-21 Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Bible references taken from the New International Version

Lost and Lonely

2010-05-05T18:50:00.002-05:00

I was at the doctors office recently... I had an appointment to discuss an upcoming surgery. Ever since, I just can't get something out of my mind. It really rattled me - not my surgery or anything like that... It is about a man who was sitting in the waiting room, waiting to be seen by the doctor. I was at the desk making my next appointment and I couldn't help overhearing his phone conversation... actually, I don't think anyone could have missed it. Here is what he said, to the best of my recollection, "No! You aren't coming down here, I don't need you! I am going to do this myself! Don't you dare come down here and don't you call and ask all your questions! NO! So! You pray with your sister every **** day! No! I am doing this myself, don't you call! I don't want you here! You and your crazy... You will just **** this up for me!! NO! Alright good bye." Ugh... my stomach ached as my heart sank. There were more expletives, but I think you get the gist.

I tried not to look at him, but I couldn't help it. I totally expected to see something on his face or person that would give away or explain why he would do that. I expected to see a mean and angry face to match the mean and angry words. I didn't. He looked like a regular middle-aged guy. The only thing that kept going through my head in that moment was, "You will miss her love when it's gone." I wanted to yell at him, plead with him, whisper to him... Grab him by the shoulders and shake him, until it changed him. Although, I knew deep down that only God can change him, only the saving grace of Jesus. I think I would have told him if I hadn't been afraid of being slugged. I failed in boldness, and settled for prayer.

I began thinking about and praying for the woman who loved him... So much, that she would endure those words... she must have endured them for years. Knowing how he would respond, she still told him that she wanted to be there for him, that she wanted to pray for him. My heart broke for her. What a lonely married life she must lead. Praise God for her sister with whom she can submit prayers to the Lord for this man. I thought that if he is like this when he is need (whether he realizes his need or not) what could he be like in his want? If this is how he speaks to her in earshot of a room full of people, what more must he say behind close doors. Her strength in the Lord still amazes me. Oh, Lord Jesus, please continue to strengthen her!

As I was walking out of the doctors office, I realized something... something that could only come from the heart of God... He had to put it in my mind, because I would be totally incapable of such a consideration. As far as I was concerned, this man was a miserable excuse for a husband. Then the Lord reminded me of the fear this man was suffering, like a stray dog locked in a noisy, cold cage at the pound. Biting at every person that tried to show him kindness, because he was afraid for his life. He reminded me of what tragedy this man must have suffered earlier in life or as a child, to turn on and treat others this way... The Lord allowed me to view him as a boy, which for some reason, seemed more lovable than an angry man - even though they are one in the same. My heart began to ache for this man too, and his loneliness. Alienating himself from the love of those God has put in his path... those loving him despite the abuse he throws out without thought. Someone so pained, he can't even see what he is missing. So lost, that the only thing that reminds him he is still living is that he can inflict pain. What a ravenous pit of despair, a bottomless pit that this man is furiously trying to fill, cover and hide with anger and hateful things... in attempt to distract himself from the sinking sand around him. Oh, Lord Jesus, please save him!

Do you know someone like this, who has hurt you or someone you care for? Can you love that person with God's love, as this wife loves her husband? What a lesson in endurance, what an example of unconditional love! God can do this very thing through you if you allow Him! Can you encourage someone who is in this kind of situation, can I encourage you?

Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Philippians 4:13 I can do everything through Him Who gives me strength.

Psalm 119:50 My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.

Heavenly Father or Heavenly Santa Claus?

2010-04-30T10:58:00.002-05:00

It seems like so many of us learn as children to ask things of God as though He were our Heavenly Santa Claus. Maybe it is a cultural thing, or maybe it is because we are such a rich nation with so much readily available to us. Something else that is easy to do, is to run down a list of things we would like God to do for us, without ever considering what He might have in mind... We hear or read those verses like John 14:14, "You may ask Me for anything in My name, and I will do it." and we think, "Eureka! That's all there is too it! I'll make a list, fold it up nice and neat, and send it angel-mail to the Father!" Then over the years that follow, when we don't get the Easy Bake Oven or a pony... Or when not everyone at school likes us... Or if the perfect Prince Charming doesn't come to sweep us off our feet... We get discouraged and wonder why God doesn't hear. We may even begin to doubt the power of prayer and God Himself, and start to question this whole religion thing. Church and all that is included becomes just another expected but undesirable tradition, like Aunt Sally's annual Fruitcake. What's missing?

It is easy to trick ourselves into believing that we have a Holy Genie in a Lamp, that we can pull out for picking lottery ticket numbers or when things don't go our way. I was guilty of this for a long time, until I realized it doesn't work to simply pick and choose a verse to suit every whim and desire. Yes, Jesus DOES say ask anything, but then, that is NOT all He and the Word say about prayer. Take a moment with me to put into context that famous verse of Jesus'. Who was He talking to? He was talking to His Disciples, not perfect people by any stretch of the imagination, but people none-the-less who had given up their very lives and livelihoods to follow Him! Jesus knew the desire of their hearts was not to fulfill their fantasies, their whims, their wants... Their desire was to know HIM, love HIM, serve HIM, and glorify HIM! Their hearts and motives were right and in check. Jesus was also speaking about what was to come after He would return to heaven. The Disciples would soon be indwelled with the Holy Spirit, and led by the Spirit to pray for things on the heart of God.

Ask yourself, "What is my motive behind my prayer or request. Do I want this thing, problem solved, or person healed for my own comfort or benefit? Or, is my heart looking for the Glory of God and the advancement of His Kingdom?" James 4: 3 says, "When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures." Ask God to reveal to you by His Holy Spirit and His truth, what is right motive in your heart and what is not. He will be faithful to do it, and when He does, thank Him for it. If He shows you wrong motive, simply ask Him to forgive you, and to redirect your heart according to His desire for your life and those around you. The Bible tells us that His plan for us is perfect! WHY would we want anything less than what He knows is right and perfect for our lives? Simple, we think we know better. Time to put that silly idea down. Just ask Him, Sister! Ask Him to align your heart with His, so that the desires of your heart would reflect His own. Then you will see Him answer in far greater ways than our finite minds could ever think or imagine. He WILL answer, in His way and in His time with the promise that He will use it all for your good! What a blessing!

So, you might then ask yourself... "If God is going to put on my heart what to ask for, and then do it.... Why include me at all? Why not just take care of it? After all, He is God, He doesn't need me." If that were the case, you would be missing sooo much! God desires to show you how REAL He is in our lives! How important you and every little detail of your life is to Him, and how much He loves you! He wants you to experience His work first hand and see how He is moving, so that you might rejoice and be encouraged! What a faith builder! What a privilege!

Not for a second am I suggesting that you stop talking to God about the things on your heart, or letting Him know what you think you need. I would be lost if I couldn't carry on a dialogue with Him throughout the day. However, if I talk to Him about these things in the context of wanting His way and His Glory, or even admitting that I am having trouble wanting His way and His Glory, He is so faithful to give my heart rest and peace and show me a far better direction of thought and action. Remember too, the Word says in Romans 8:34 that Jesus is at the right hand of God interceding for us! And in Roman 8:26-27 we read that we don't know what we should pray for, but the Holy Spirit "Himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express." WOW! Who better to take our needs and lives before the Living God and submit requests on our behalf! Remember, Jesus and the Holy Spirit ARE God, so when they come before the Father for us, Sister, it is done! All we need to do is continue seeking Him to know Him better and better, and in return we receive far greater blessings than we could ever imagine or ask for!

Ephesians 3:20-21 Now to Him Who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Matthew 7:7-11 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him?"

John 15:7-8 "If you remain in Me and My words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples."

WWJD About Depression?

2010-04-22T15:32:00.000-05:00

Recently, on the radio, I was listening to a speaker talk about the effects of volunteer work on symptoms of depression. This grabbed my attention for a number of reasons. Primarily, because I have seen the effects depression can have, both in my life and in the lives of family members and friends.

The speaker reviewed a study that looked at patients with diagnosed depression and the effects that volunteering had on them and their symptoms. To everyone's surprise, patients who volunteered time consistently, had better or equal effects as those patients who were taking anti-depressants for their depression and/or used other forms of therapy. I suppose one could surmise that a combination of these things could be very helpful. I did some research on my own online and found the reported results to be very positive.

I suppose that as Christians, we shouldn't surprised by this data. What did Jesus demonstrate over and over again? Servant-hood! He cared for others in need - both spiritually and physically. Even when Jesus knew that He would be betrayed and killed (can you imagine the weight of that knowledge?) he chose to serve. John 13:1 tells us that even with all this on His mind and heart he chose to, "show them the full extent of His love." He washed the disciples feet. What an example!

I guess it all makes sense. I have found that helping others who are in need, truly takes my mind off of the things that are getting me down or the stress I feel. I can't help but feel joy and satisfaction when I can help someone who is hurting or needs a hand - and slowly, I begin to realize that those things that I have allowed to bring my heart to low places, just aren't so weighty any longer.

I was just on the phone with a girlfriend who has suffered debilitating depression for years, spending much of her time isolated and in bed. I asked her what she thought of volunteering in relation to depression. She was right on board, saying that she feels "soooo good, a hundred times better" when she is volunteering her time to those in need. While she still maintains the medical and emotional therapies prescribed, she is convinced that time helping others has been the best medicine.

As God works through us to love and help others, He shows us that ALL things are possible though Him. Then we are better able to see how He is working through difficulty in our own lives. He can use ALL things for our good, because we love Him! And when He brings us through on the other side, we are able to say to our Sisters, "I understand what you are going through, I will help you shoulder the burden and walk this with you." That is just what we want to do, isn't it?! So, my mind goes back to the book of James and that we are to consider it pure joy when we face trials of many kinds... YES! JOY!! There is joy there in the depths dear Sister, even if it is hard to believe. Choose it! One of the best ways to find it, is to give it away to others who need our help, who need a Savior... Watch God give to others through you, and see Him simultaneously begin to fill you up! He is ABLE!

In no way do I intend to diminish the seriousness of depression and its effects. I believe that this scientific revelation is so timely, and lines up exactly with the teachings of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. What could be better and more satisfying than the privilege of being the hands and feet of Jesus?

What do you think? What has been your experience? Do you think this is worth a shot, to see if it would help? I would love to know your thoughts!

1 Peter 4 :7-19

The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen. Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name. For it is time for judgment to begin with the family of God; and if it begins with us, what will the outcome be for those who do not obey the gospel of God? And, "If it is hard for the righteous to be saved, what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?" So then, those who suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.
1 Thessalonians 5:16
Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

It Is Well With My Soul

2010-04-22T08:35:00.002-05:00

When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Refrain:
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life,
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

But Lord, 'tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul.

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

Horatio Spafford

This guy Horatio suffered greatly... He lost his only son, a fire ruined him financially... then all his daughters (4 of them) were killed at sea. These tragedies and all he had to hang onto - his faith - were the inspiration for this song. Hope, he had hope that only Jesus can give. I pray that you receive the same, and that He will whisper His peace to your soul - peace that passes all understanding to guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.

Buena Muerte/Good Death

2010-04-13T21:53:00.000-05:00

I am a nurse. I had always thought I wanted to work in Labor and Delivery. What a blessing to see life begin with all the hopes and promises. Even in the worst of situations, a birth lends beauty and a breath of heaven. Tiny fingers, brand new sounds and cries, babes who make quirky movements and gestures as they learn to live outside of their warm, watery womb. The almost instantaneous change in some moms and dads as they look upon their child's face for the first time, and realize that living life is about serving someone other than themselves. Awesome. I did get to witness a number of such blessings, but it wasn't the call God had for my life and career.

Instead, and quite by surprise, I wound up in a 40 bed ICU/CCU that encompassed a Level 1 trauma center, open heart, neuro specialties, and more. I was shell-shocked for two straight years as I cared for these patients, and fell in love with their families, and fell apart for their families. Shift after shift I watched as some patients fought to live and others surrendered to death. Some fought fiercely even angrily, while others strained fearfully to the bitter end, in agony and despair... Still others with similar diagnosis or injury, left this world with joy and peace, in total rest. The dichotomy was blinding. It wasn't just evident to me, something I alone was perceiving and privy to. It was a frequent but also taboo topic of conversation amongst the staff, whispers at the desks, small gatherings at the medication counter. What was the difference? Why were some endings so gut wrenching and even horrific, while other endings were such a wonderful privilege to watch, you almost felt as though you were witnessing a birth?

The answer is Jesus. Plain and simply, Jesus. Even those medical staff that had come into that unit as atheists and agnostics had to admit that something spiritual was happening in each of those deaths, whether good or bad. It was just too much to ignore.

The more I experienced the more overwhelmed I felt by the desire to share Jesus with patients. In the beginning I was afraid of being reprimanded or even disciplined for what I did, but I didn't want to be responsible for withholding a person's last opportunity to know Him. At one point I even began to worry about whether or not I should share with all the patients I possibly could while at work. How could I get alone time with each of them? It was then that I was blessed with a conversation with a good friend of ours, a Navy Chaplain. I asked him, "Don't you feel guilty, or bad, with all these people walking by in everyday life, in the grocery store or on the street who certainly don't know the Lord? How do you deal with that? How do you live without feeling like you have to tell every person you run into, the good news of the Gospel... or do you?" He didn't linger in his answer, it was right there, as though God had spoken it to him just minutes before. I will repeat it to the best of my recollection, he said, "I don't feel guilty. I am not responsible for telling everyone around me, God is. People are responsible for their response when He makes Himself known to them. I am only responsible when God lays it on my heart to share with someone. If I don't, then I am guilty, I am choosing for them in a way. So, when He tells me to share, I do and know that He will give me the words. If I don't, then I suppose their blood is on my hands, and that is heavy. If they receive it, great! If they don't, I just assume it is another seed God is planting." WOW! What a relief that was to me! At the same time, it was sobering to think about the obedience required of our leaders and teachers, their need and desire to stay tuned in and sensitive to the leading of the Spirt.

So, after that, I waited on the Lord to show me who needed Him. I am sure I made mistakes, but God is gracious, He knows our hearts... and He rejoiced with me in moments when people made decisions for Him, His warmth and love so tangible at times I could hardly contain myself. Some folks I shared with were even in comas. After praying with even these "incoherent" people, there would often be an overwhelming sense of joy in me from head to toe, and I believe God was working. I believe that the spirits of people are alive and sharp well beyond the age of the body in many cases, and I believe God made it possible for those people to participate in prayer through His Spirit and theirs. The evidence of a persons awareness even in those situations is there, and I could rattle on forever about it, but I won't keep you. God can impress it on your heart as He has mine, without a list of my clinical experiences.

I work in a much smaller, low-key ICU these days. Although the medical acuity of these patients is no where near as great, the spiritual acuity is just as severe. I pray and ask God to provide me with the patients He wants me to care for, and show me if there is a way I can minister to them. I ask Him to bring me patients that need Him or would enjoy a nurse who can celebrate their relationship with Him. He is faithful. I know the Charge Nurses think they are making out the patient assignments, but I know that it is really God who is doing it. Numerous times, I have had patients who express fear of death... what a privilege to share a prayer of salvation with them, and what a miracle to behold as the peace that passes all understanding washes over them and surrounds them through their last breath. No less incredible is to share in such an event with a faith focused family and listen to them as they reminisce about or with the person that is in their last moments. I have to confess, I think it is me that is blessed beyond words in those moments, what an amazing opportunity to see God work.

Having Jesus in death is full of comfort, peace, joy and expectancy. What a privilege to see people pass from death to life, it is better than birth a hundred times over. I want that. I have that! I hope you have that, too.

Acts 16:31 ..."Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved - you and your household."

Roman 8:38-39 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

1 John 5:5 Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God.

God Picked Them For You

2010-04-12T10:23:00.000-05:00

I have been reading some blogs lately, and have found that people are struggling with their relationships with family - parents and siblings. Especially, when just starting out on their own, or thinking about leaving the nest. It can be hard to find the definition of your own identity sometimes without feeling like your are turning your back on or rejecting what you think your parents stand for, or what they taught you growing up. I guess I am talking mostly about people who are Christians, who also are beginning to flesh out their own faith instead of riding on the coat tails of mom and dad's relationship with Christ. This isn't a bad thing, it is a necessary thing - to make your relationship with Christ your own. As long as you follow the leading of the Holy Spirit, and maintain your focus on Him, He will help you find your own course. You will make mistakes, but He will be there to lift you up time and time again. Your path is not the same as your parents, just as your tastes and thoughts are not identical either. You have good friends who don't think exactly the same and don't have the same needs or weaknesses in their walk, but you don't feel guilty about that... So, why feel guilty about being your own person, God's person, in your faith, separate from your parents? Just remember to temper your differences with respect, God placed your parents as authority in your life for a reason... but still, let your heart examine all that God wants to do in and through YOU, all that He wants to change and transform into His likeness.

There may be difficulty though, when a grown child feels or knows that they have been taught distortions of God's truth. This can be gut wrenching... You know that your parents only wanted the best for you, but you wish you could share what God has revealed to your heart. The unrest it brings to your heart can lead you to want to get away from your parents or put distance between you and them and find new people who share your views.

The beautiful thing about knowing the Lord Jesus, is that with Him comes His body, our true family! We begin to find Sisters and Brothers that we will share eternity with for the Glory of God, and that can bring incredible depth to relationship. We ask, and the Lord gladly puts authority in our lives filled with His wisdom, to help guide us - but above all we have the Holy Spirit, who if we surrender to, will lead us through His perfect plan for our lives. I believe that includes learning to love and forgive our biological families. The ones that brought us into this world may not always be exactly what we think they ought to be, but then, God chose them for us. He loves them just as much as He loves us, and He may have placed you in their lives so that they may get a glimpse of Him and His love and truth. Try to lend them the grace God has given you, reminding yourself that tragedy, hardships, or misleading by others can can create misconceptions, fear and other problems. Healthy boundaries and even distance are good if there have been abuses, but ask God to love your family through you with His love. Prayer is the best gift you can give, along with leading a God focused life. He will surely bless you in ways that you may not expect.

Forgiveness-An Act of Worship

2010-04-03T11:26:00.002-05:00

Forgiveness-An Act of Worship
"Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."

Luke 23:34, NIV

If Jesus forgave those who nailed Him to the Cross, and if God forgives you and me, how can you withhold your forgiveness from someone else? How can you withhold your forgiveness from yourself? If God says, "I forgive you," who are you to say, "Thank You, God, but I can't forgive myself"? Are your standards higher than His? Are you more righteous than He is? If God says, "I forgive you," then the only appropriate response is to say, "God, thank You. I don't deserve it, but I accept it. And to express my gratitude, I, in turn, forgive that person who has sinned against me."

We forgive others, not because they deserve it, but because He deserves it! The only reason we have to forgive is that He commands us to, and our obedience gives us opportunity to say to Him, "Thank You for forgiving me. I love You." Our forgiveness of others then becomes an act of worship that we would not enter into except for Who He is and for the overwhelming debt of love we owe Him.

Blessings,

Anne Graham Lotz

See Where Antsy-Pants Will Get Ya

2010-03-22T10:25:00.003-05:00

Yesterday, as I was encouraging a good friend to pray and wait on the Lord for answers to some serious questions about the direction and path for her life... I realized, I am far better at telling others to wait on Him, than doing it myself! What is wrong with me?! I have seen God do unimaginable good in my life and in the lives of others... far exceeding ALL expectation EVERY time! So, why won't I learn to wait on Him?

I have been praying about an ongoing glitch in my marriage... sometimes it seems like a really big deal, other times it is just something that my husband does that frustrates me, and I in turn, frustrate him. Although, in my pride, I struggle to see what he could possibly find irritating about ME! Just kidding! Surely God can bridge the gap and make things right, and we will live happily every after. Yes He can, in HIS time! I know this, but what could be taking Him so long? I started thinking that maybe He was tied up with other things that needed His attention and He could use my help! Feeling fairly confident that if I could hear the Lord audibly, He would say, "You've got this all figured out, and I'm on your side." So, I decided to speed this whole thing up a little. Besides, I figured if we got this out of the way we could move on and enjoy looking back on all the growing we had done because of my abundant wisdom...

I mustered all the tact and "truth in love" I knew how, and went and told my husband just how wonderful he WOULD be, if he would stop doing X, Y, and Z. Completely expecting him to thank me profusely for my grace and wisdom in bringing this to his attention, I was blindsided when WWIII broke out! I figured, if that was the way he felt about it, and if he was so ignorant not to appreciate my tact and constructive criticism, then I would continue on and make things very plain and simple. I'd spell it out for him without the warm fuzzies I had thoughtfully used to frost over his obvious faults. And there we went... We started running in that vicious circle, like two hamsters in mad pursuit of nothing on the Wheel to Nowhere!

Now, as I sit here and recall that verse that says, "They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength..." I realize that I didn't wait upon the Lord, and arguing out of my own strength completely exhausted my body and spirit. I was wiped out, and so was my husband, with nothing to show for it except injured hearts, distrust, and a sense of loneliness.

Experience has shown me what can happen if I do wait on the Lord for His timing, and what can happen if I don't. It is mind boggling, with the help of hindsight, that I continue to choose to rush ahead of God. I liken myself to a dog out for a walk, who suddenly bursts out of its master's grip and heads right into the traffic of a busy street. Disobedience, pride, impatience, it's all in there. I think I am like God's "Marley and Me." What a mess I can make in no-time flat, to the sheer bewilderment of those around me!

So, my hope and prayer is that I will be obedient to wait on the Lord when He calls me to, that He will give me the strength and self-discipline to do it. He is ABLE, and a little duct tape over my mouth wouldn't hurt either! Thank You Jesus, for Your patience with me, and my husband's too! PRAISE GOD that He loves me just as I am, a work in progress!

Psalm 27:13-14 I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

Psalm 40: 1-3 I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord.

Proverbs 28:26 He who trusts himself is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe.

Isaiah 30:18 Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for Him!

Who Made Me Judge and Jury?

2010-03-18T20:05:00.002-05:00

Whew! Serious wake-up call for me the other day! I was attending my church Bible study, when I finally understood a concept that has been eluding me for as long as I can recall. The Bible tells us not to judge others... easier said than done - or at least that is what I chose to think. So, what if I have opinions about some people, who wouldn't... Right? WRONG!

Our teacher explained that the Gospel, or good news of what Jesus Christ did for us on the cross, is for everyone - that all might hear, believe and be saved. The rest of the story in the New Testament - the teaching of how to walk with God and live the life of a Christ follower - however, is only for those who believe.

It makes perfect sense! It is ridiculous to think that we who believe in the Lord Jesus Christ as our personal Savior, and are indwelled with the Holy Spirit, could or would expect those who do not believe and are not filled with the Holy Spirit to be able to live according to the principles of the Law and Grace! Sorry, I know that was a run-on sentence. Seriously, it is the Holy Spirit who convicts our hearts of sin and causes us to repent and change - becoming a new creation in Christ, and walking in the continual renewing of our hearts and minds. His indwelling Spirit is continually remodeling us into the likeness of Christ, and causing us to want to live better and do better so that we might reflect Him more. Not because we have to (grace check), but because we want to, out of gratefulness for all Jesus has done for us! So, HELLO, it is crazy to expect Joe-Blow-Non-Christian to miraculously straighten up and fly right, without the help of the Author of the miraculous!

But that's what we do, isn't it?! We feel a ping of irritation when we see a mother smoking in her car, windows rolled up, and a toddler in the backseat. We glare at those individuals lacking self-discipline at the office Christmas party, who don't seem to know when to stop drinking... We groan and shake our heads when we hear about someone cheating on their spouse - not because we grieve for them and the pain they are causing, but because we think, "how could they?!" Good grief, as a former lost soul, what right have I to respond that way? Joe (mentioned above) may be able to wise up some on his own, but he will continually fail to find freedom from the sin that grips him, as long as he tries in his own strength.

I am so thankful for how patient and gracious God has been with me, the filth that He has overlooked and even removed from the slate of my life... So, why do I see others and judge? Why would I allow myself to believe that I am any better than the next sinner? Especially when the list of my own sins would easily one-up most of those I have let myself look down on. That reminds me... You know that famous line given by some non-believers, about why they don't go to church, "Church is full of a bunch of hippocrites." Or, something to that effect. Honestly, I think it is more than that... I think it is our self-righteousness that keeps them running from places of worship. Certainly, they are aware of our condescension. Please forgive me Lord!

Jesus spent time with sinners, not to stoop or fall to their "level," but to love them UP to His! Love, not judgment, shines the light of truth on sin and brings conviction to the heart. Because with love, God's grace is evident. With judgment only condemnation lends itself. Which would you have chosen in your pre-Christian state... Which would you have felt more drawn to when looking at life through the veil of an empty, broken heart and hopelessness? Would you gravitate toward love and the free gift of grace, or judgment and the self-loathing of condemnation.

So, yet another lesson learned for me. Now, as I go about my day, and I catch myself sizing up others, judging their actions, attire or words... I ask God to let me see them as He does... In need of a Savior, loved no less than those already in the fold. He is then able to break my heart for them, and I am able to see those things as just outward symptoms of a lost heart. In this frame of reference, I am able to share His Truth in love, and hopefully, His unfailing grace shines through!

Luke 6:37 "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven."

Philippians 2:3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.

Colossians 3:12 Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

A New Song

2010-03-14T21:51:00.003-05:00

In church this morning, we sang a new song. Maybe you know it? The chorus goes...

I am free to run

I am free to dance

I am free to live for you

I am free, I am free

Maybe I am slow on the uptake, but it took me 3 or 4 times through this chorus to realize we were not singing about being physically free. If we had been, the song wouldn't make sense... Because there are children of God who are unable to run and dance. There are people around the world who are believers, and are not free in various ways, their lives are not their own. They may live in a communist country, are imprisoned or are bound by slavery... They may be in a painful relationship, or be married to an unbeliever. They may be stuck in a dead end job, or indebted with no relief in sight.

When it finally hit me that we were actually singing about our spirits... I was overcome with emotion. In Jesus, our spirits/hearts are free! Free from condemnation and death for sure, but oh so much more! No matter what our circumstance, no matter what the limitation, we are free. No one, no thing, no handicap, can hold back what God can do in and through our hearts and lives.

Nothing can interfere with the love affair our hearts can have with our Savior! NOTHING! Unless we let it... Unless we take our eyes off of Him, and let our focus on an eternal perspective waver with the distractions of life. He is always there, always ready, always beckoning our hearts to take hold of the limitless love and freedom only found through Jesus.

If we respond to His call, our hearts can run through the endless wonders that the Lord holds in His Word and in the testimony of His church. Our hearts can dance before Him in praise and celebration. We are free to move mountains even if our physical bodies are bound in infirmity. We are free to not only do what is expected or demanded of us, we can do more as unto the Lord.

I am ready to run and dance and LIVE in the freedom of Christ Jesus with a whole new perspective!

Romans 8:38-39 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Galations 5:1 It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

Ephesians 3:20-21 Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Meek... NOT Weak

2010-03-10T16:38:00.006-06:00

The beatitudes... As a kid I thought I was hearing "Be Attitudes," as though they were the attitudes of the person we are supposed to be. Not right on, but a good start. Beatitudes are actually declarations of blessedness or described as exalted happiness. That doesn't sound too bad! However, there was always one beatitude that I wasn't so sure of. One that I thought I didn't want to identify with.

Matthew 5:5 says, "Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth." I always believed that "meek" was synonymous with "weak," or "victim." Who wants to be one of those? I was thinking, "Leave the earth to someone else Lord, I will work on some of the other characteristics for my exalted happiness!" It never made sense to me why God would ask us to be weak or a victim, Jesus wasn't! Sure, He was persecuted and even killed in the most horrendous way, but He didn't have to be... He chose to! So... wait a minute! That is the key then, isn't it? The key to what it REALLY means to be meek.

In my church Bible study recently, I heard the TRUE definition of meek, "enduring injury with patience and without resentment." That was Jesus! Humbleness out of forgiveness and discipline... It is truly a choice!

Like you, I have been hurt by others... disappointed, worn, knocked down and pushed around (literally and figuratively), wounded, and deeply devastated. Sometimes, I wanted to strike back, other times, I wanted to curl up in a ball somewhere and hide. Sometimes, I thought I wanted to die... But as I look back on those hurts, I see now, if I had only CHOSEN to forgive and not carry resentment, if I had even just asked God to help me do it... life would have been so much more joyful and peaceful, if not around me, surely in my heart. He would have enabled me to endure through His strength and comfort.
Now, don't let me give the impression that He abandoned me in my hurt, He didn't, not for a second! But I believe I limited what He wanted to do in my life at that time, by trying to survive it my way. Funny how that attitude made me weak and turned me into a victim, the very thing I didn't want to be!

So, I have changed my mind! I want to be meek! I want God to mold my heart and life into HIS definition of meekness, not mine. Hurt from others can't be avoided in life, but we CAN choose to see those who hurt us as Jesus saw even those who crucified Him... remember? In love and meekness, He asked the Father to forgive them. Lord, help me choose to serve and love others through meekness, as You first loved us! As You first loved me!

Side note: As a survivor of abuse, I would NEVER suggest that you continue to subject yourself to the mental, physical, or sexual abuse of another person. If you are being harmed, you must seek help to protect yourself.

Lunch Lessons

2010-03-09T15:48:00.016-06:00

Hearing about someone's most embarrassing moments, is a great way to get to know and understand them. So, if you are going to get to know me, I suppose I should share one of my "moments."

So... It was the summer of 1992. A very "cool" group of people invited me out for lunch one afternoon. I was so surprised and excited to be included, they were the well-to-do, hip young crowd that everyone wanted to hang with. The "life of the party" types.

Until recently, I was broke and had been working two and three jobs to try to get by. For the last few years, I had no time to go out with friends and even if I had, I hadn't been able to afford any "extras." I had landed a new job at a retail warehouse, and was finally making some decent money. Anyway, I had just spoiled myself a bit and splurged at a sale on a couple new items of clothes, undies, shoes, this and that, and a darling little sun dress that I was dying to wear somewhere - this lunch out would be PERFECT!

I got showered, did my hair up BIG (that 80's look was still hanging on in my town), took extra time on my make-up, painted my toe nails and got dressed. The dress looked great, it was a pretty shade of green with little flowers on it. I loved the straps, they criss-crossed in the back. The skirt wasn't too short, but shorter than most things I ever wore, a couple inches above my knees. It was made out of a rayon sort-of fabric, so it was kinda light and airy. Since I had more time off lately, I had a great tan that year and made sure to shave and lube up my legs with some lotion. I finished my look off with a new little (a relative term when you wear a size 10) pair of flat, strappy sandals, and was VERY pleased with myself. I hopped in my car and headed for the restaurant, music blaring and singing along.

I arrived with perfect timing. The group was just heading in the door as I pulled up. I wasn't too early, looking too eager to hang out with my new "friends," and I wasn't too late, looking like I was trying too hard to get ready. I headed in, and they all greeted me just inside the front door. The girls were more luke-warm, you know how girls can be. They were checking me out, making sure I was worth the effort and worthy of their popularity. I figured I had some work to do over lunch to win their favor, how hard could it be? The group decided to eat out on the patio because it was such a beautiful day an there was just one table left. I was agreeable to anything, just wanting to fit in. We weaved our way out to the table through the crowd of lunch-goers. I was really enjoying the moment, I could hardly stand it!

Lunch was good, but I hardly ate a thing compared to my usual stuffing sessions. As broke as I had been since leaving home at 17, I had learned to eat whatever landed in front on me, no matter how much or how little... A girl had to be practical, and at nearly six feet tall, I had trouble keeping weight on my long frame. I didn't want to look like a pig, and tried to keep my mouth free of food in case I had an opportunity to add something fabulous to the conversation. Amid all that was going on, I kept noticing that the light wind crossing the deck was pushing my skirt up, so I kept one hand in my lap in order to maintain my modesty. The girls seemed to warm up to me a bit, asking me questions about myself. I was totally wrapped up in how perfect they were, and tried hard not to stare. Their make-up was flawless, hair lovely even with a light wind at their backs, tans to die for and outfits that must have cost more than I made in two weeks. We were all in our early 20's and I kept wondering how they could afford all that.

We finished our lunches, well, sort of. The girls had 2/3's of a plate left over each... me included. I was STARVING still, and wished that taking the rest with me was not uncool, but it appeared that it would be and so I left it behind. I stood up from my chair and began my walk across the patio. I was first because of where my chair sat, so I did my very best to look fabulous from the rear as I went, my new entourage behind me. When I was about 15 feet from the restaurant door, I felt my cute "little" sandal catch in a crack of the cement patio. You know, one of those purposely placed spacer cracks, so that the cement won't crack on its own in the cold weather. Anyway, the toe of my sole caught and caught hard. I had been walking rather quickly, because I felt so self-conscious, and so the sticking of my sandal caused me to launch forward onto my other foot. Momentarily, I was caught in a lunge position, like you do in exercise class to tighten your buns. I simultaneously jerked the foot that was stuck, which actually freed my sandal but also catapulted me forward like Superman on his way to save the day. I was literally airborne with both arms extended out before me and with tanned, slicked up legs out behind. It seemed like my flight lasted an eternity, when I noticed a beautiful an enormous pot of flowers in front of me... Funny, in my excitement earlier, I hadn't noticed the 3 foot cement pot just outside the door, filled with an array of cascading flowers and vines. Lovely. My hands hit the side of the pot and sent it over on its side with a loud thud. It cracked in two and flower buds and potting soil went everywhere. I was so mortified that I had ruined the arrangement, I hadn't even noticed my own landing. There I lay, flat out, on the concrete. I began to think through all my body parts, trying to tell if any were hurt.

As I lay there, I again became aware of that lovely breeze that had been going over the deck... why could I feel it over my behind? It was then that I realized my sweet little skirt was up over my back and my rear was visible to all who wanted a peek. Thank goodness I wore my new panties! I quickly rolled over and looked up to see everyone on the deck staring at me in disbelief. One of the young men who was with our group walked up and extended a hand saying loudly, "How many beers did you drink?" Humiliation. "Just one." I muttered. Actually, I had barely sipped the one I was poured, I didn't like it, but wanting to fit in I didn't refuse it trying hard not to be rude.

As he pulled me up, I noticed the entire restaurant patronage inside was standing at the windows sizing up the scene I had made. The group that I had come with tried hard to pretend that they didn't know me. A girl at another table was laughing in hysterics, while a couple others were madly trying to get her to stop. A busboy was already trying to undo the flower disaster I had caused. I had to walk the rest of the way to the door, step over the flower mess, and go through the entire length of the restaurant dining room before I could reach the bill counter and way out . As I walked I felt a warm trickle, and looked to see two skinned knees bleeding down my shins, messing up my pretty tan and excellent shave job.

I sat on the bench just near the entrance to the restaurant. A nice looking man, maybe in his mid 40's came up and knelt in front of me with paper napkins he had wet in the drinking fountain. As he put the napkins on my stinging knees he said, "My daughter is the one who was laughing at you out there. That was wrong of her and I am so embarrassed. I am so sorry." I thanked him and he went back to the patio and his lunch. I realized my new "friends" had already deserted me and left the restaurant.

I paid my bill and as I came out the door to my car, I saw the young man that had helped me up, standing in the parking lot near his car. He laughed and said, "Nice one!" I got in my car, radio off, and headed home. Needless to say, I was never invited along to anything with that group again. I learned so much that day. It was a new beginning for me, in a way, deciding to no longer worry so much about what other people think of me. It was a realization that "cool" does not necessarily mean "kind," "friendship" or "selfless." Soon after, I was grateful for the experience. I didn't have that sting of embarrassment in my stomach, whenever the event came to mind. I knew I didn't need people like that, and was glad to have learned it, even at my own expense. It is still is one of the most embarrassing moments of my life, but I can laugh at myself now. The whole thing grew me up a little bit.

As for the dress, well, that was the first and last time I ever wore it. My fall had skinned little holes in the bust and skirt. I hung on to it for years though, and whenever I would see it at the back of my closet, I would giggle at the reminder of a good lesson learned.

Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.

Galations 1:10 Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.

this little light of mine

2010-03-08T14:17:00.001-06:00

I loved that song as a little kid... "This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine..." I must have sung that song a thousand times or more. I loved it. It seemed so simple. My little kid mind could never imagine the struggles that would come and threaten not only to hide that light, but to snuff it out completely. Many times that light was in jeopardy because I thought I could keep it lit while playing with fire. Other times, it was nearly extinguished by the actions of others. Yet, here it flickers, hope amid the trials and consequence of choices. Now, I realize, I never kept it lit... Grace did. So, with thankfulness, and as God desires, I'm gonna let it shine.

I pray that the eyes of your heart may
be enlightened so you may know what
is the hope of His calling. . .
and what is the immeasurable
greatness of His power to us who believe. . .
Ephesians 1:18a,19a,