Monday, November 29, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Thankfulness in All Things
"Is it really possible? Has another year passed?" I thought this Sunday after church as my husband and I were pulling up frozen weights by net handles out of a sea of plastic wrapped carcasses, in search of the perfect bird. "Do I really want to cook a turkey, didn't I just do this last week?" Then came a trickle of memories of the year's past, then the trickle became a stream, followed by a flood. Good days and bad days, that had all been shoved back and tucked away in my mind, began to fly through my head. They reminded me that indeed, twelve months have passed since I wrestled a slippery, goose pimpled, headless monster in my sink. I guess the thinking on these things, coupled with a really good sermon on the sovereignty of God, added up to the question that followed, "Am I thankful?"
This hasn't been the easiest of years. Nothing catastrophic in and of itself, just the overwhelming gnawing of seemingly unresolved problems and uncertainty. My heart has at times felt exhausted and overrun. I have questioned God and wondered, even yelled, "Have you forgotten? Hellooooo?"
Yet, as I look back, I can see that by God's hand, the bad times were carefully and creatively matched with good and sweet moments, and at times met with new and old family in Christ. There has been an answer for every grief, a gentle kiss from the Father, offering blessing that would have been missed if He had spared me the pain. It is evident that God is truly in control and He has allowed each of these difficulties to come so that I might grow to a better understanding of Him and how He loves me.
Our God allows the trials and tests to strengthen us for the good works He has prepared in advance to do. In His loving wisdom He exercises our faith, challenges our hope, and demands our trust. He calls us to join Him as He looks deep within our hearts and considers our motives. The landscape of our hearts can be such a difficult view to take in, with barren areas, miry pits, and ugly walls of stone... But if we honestly appraise the condition (Psalm 139:23) and willingly hand over the deed to what might otherwise appear to be useless space, our Master Gardener will begin to cultivate a garden that is as abundant as it is lovely in the fruits of His Spirit. Some of this work is only possible by the Father's miraculous hand, but much of it He will ask us to do under His loving guidance. Uprooting the dead and lifeless, pruning back the useless, and tearing down walls that keep us from fully experiencing Him. (John 15:1-16) We will see the voids well up with streams of living water and never run dry. Yet none of this is possible without sharp tools, elbow grease, and dirty knees. Knees that learn to love being bent in worship and service, because of the amazing view that is provided from that place of humility while we weed the garden of our hearts under the light of His presence. A garden of retreat and a place meet with our Father. A place to pick fruit that we can pelt at the troubles that come, just kidding, "pelting" is probably not the best metaphor albeit satisfying to think of at times! All in all, it is nothing short of amazing that He can redeem the dirt of our lives, and from it, bring forth such bounty! (Romans 8:28) He is ABLE!
So... YES! I am thankful! Thankful for the opportunity to struggle, as weird as it may sound and as strange as it is to write. The Bible says in 1 Thessalonians 5:18, "give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." Thanks that God would carefully craft the path of my life to involve tailored obstacles to challenge me and establish my dependence on Him. (Matthew 4:4) After all, the joy of the Lord is our strength! (Nehemiah 8:10) What He asks us to give is only that which we have already received according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus! (Philippians 4:19) Thank You Lord, for loving us enough to prevent us from getting too comfortable, so that we might seek Your face, find You and know You more! (Jeremiah 29:13)
So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness. Colossians 2:6-7
You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. LORD my God, I will praise you forever. Psalm 30:11-12
But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you; may those who long for your saving help always say, “The LORD is great!” Psalm 70:4
Bible references from the New International Version.
This hasn't been the easiest of years. Nothing catastrophic in and of itself, just the overwhelming gnawing of seemingly unresolved problems and uncertainty. My heart has at times felt exhausted and overrun. I have questioned God and wondered, even yelled, "Have you forgotten? Hellooooo?"
Yet, as I look back, I can see that by God's hand, the bad times were carefully and creatively matched with good and sweet moments, and at times met with new and old family in Christ. There has been an answer for every grief, a gentle kiss from the Father, offering blessing that would have been missed if He had spared me the pain. It is evident that God is truly in control and He has allowed each of these difficulties to come so that I might grow to a better understanding of Him and how He loves me.
Our God allows the trials and tests to strengthen us for the good works He has prepared in advance to do. In His loving wisdom He exercises our faith, challenges our hope, and demands our trust. He calls us to join Him as He looks deep within our hearts and considers our motives. The landscape of our hearts can be such a difficult view to take in, with barren areas, miry pits, and ugly walls of stone... But if we honestly appraise the condition (Psalm 139:23) and willingly hand over the deed to what might otherwise appear to be useless space, our Master Gardener will begin to cultivate a garden that is as abundant as it is lovely in the fruits of His Spirit. Some of this work is only possible by the Father's miraculous hand, but much of it He will ask us to do under His loving guidance. Uprooting the dead and lifeless, pruning back the useless, and tearing down walls that keep us from fully experiencing Him. (John 15:1-16) We will see the voids well up with streams of living water and never run dry. Yet none of this is possible without sharp tools, elbow grease, and dirty knees. Knees that learn to love being bent in worship and service, because of the amazing view that is provided from that place of humility while we weed the garden of our hearts under the light of His presence. A garden of retreat and a place meet with our Father. A place to pick fruit that we can pelt at the troubles that come, just kidding, "pelting" is probably not the best metaphor albeit satisfying to think of at times! All in all, it is nothing short of amazing that He can redeem the dirt of our lives, and from it, bring forth such bounty! (Romans 8:28) He is ABLE!
So... YES! I am thankful! Thankful for the opportunity to struggle, as weird as it may sound and as strange as it is to write. The Bible says in 1 Thessalonians 5:18, "give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." Thanks that God would carefully craft the path of my life to involve tailored obstacles to challenge me and establish my dependence on Him. (Matthew 4:4) After all, the joy of the Lord is our strength! (Nehemiah 8:10) What He asks us to give is only that which we have already received according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus! (Philippians 4:19) Thank You Lord, for loving us enough to prevent us from getting too comfortable, so that we might seek Your face, find You and know You more! (Jeremiah 29:13)
So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness. Colossians 2:6-7
You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. LORD my God, I will praise you forever. Psalm 30:11-12
But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you; may those who long for your saving help always say, “The LORD is great!” Psalm 70:4
Bible references from the New International Version.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus
Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His Glory and Grace...
Helen H. Lemmel
Oh, how messy life can be! You might feel as though you've got it all pretty squared away and the things of life are moving along in the right direction... and WHAM! Someone, or something, puts a kink in your air hose and you find yourself fighting to reach the surface of sanity and for a breath of relief. All of a sudden, you are struggling to keep your head above the waters of despair, grief, anger, fear, or all of the above. We fight against the feelings of being overwhelmed, or at other times, we are paralyzed by worry and anxiety over tragedy and other things out of our control. After exhausting and draining every bit of our waning energy, we fall into bed at night unable to sleep and recharge as we rehearse our next move, think through the worst case scenarios, or spend worry on the endless possibilities.
WHY? Why do we even attempt to battle, defend, work, run and manipulate when the Word of God clearly tells us to rest... Rest in Him. Sisters, when we carry on out of our own strength and determination in the throws of trouble, we are disobeying direct orders from our Commander in Chief and we sin. Why do we press on in pride trying to handle things on our own? It makes no sense, yet I have struggled with this time and again. We tell the Almighty God of the universe, Creator of heaven and earth, that we are grateful that He sent His Son to die for us and raised Him from the dead. However, our actions are in contrast saying, "I don't trust You to take care of me or my problems. I got this one, I'll handle it." I might as well say to the Father, "I can throw my hands up in worship before a congregation of people, I will tell of Your wonders and grace, but I will not trust You to save me, carry me or heal me." Sisters, if this is all there is to Christianity and we are left alone to fend for ourselves, then why make Jesus our Lord and SAVIOR in the first place?
The beauty and blessing of being a child of the Most High God, is that He promises to love us, protect us, and use ALL things, even the greatest tragedy, for our good! He can redeem it all! All we must do is learn to rest and trust in Him. (Psalm 37:7) This may be difficult in the beginning, not because He makes it so, but because our flesh does. Although, if we continually call on Him for His peace that passes all understanding, and if we take every thought captive and hold them up to the light of His Word and Truth; He will train our hearts and minds to die unto our flesh and rest in His strong, capable, and loving arms.
It is in these times that our wonderful God draws us near if we will stop for a moment, ignore the whirling winds around us and listen to His calling... Calling to be still, stand and watch as He takes what we have, even the worst we can imagine, and see Him create beauty from ashes. (Ephesians 6:13, Isaiah 61:3) He will draw back the choking waters about our heads and turn it into wine that is sweet to our lips. He will strengthen our weary backs burdened with the things of life and uphold us with His mighty right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)
Oh, believe me, I can complain with the best of them in the midst of such worrisome and grievous days! Although, when I stop and press into Him instead, I find that these are some of the greatest moments with my Father. I now look forward to those times, ones so personally miraculous that they are indelibly written on my mind and spirit and can be recalled when other dark days come. Not to say that I want to invite trouble, but there is nothing like the moment when I finally decide to hold out my hands and give up my pathetic attempts to control my situation and life... and He lifts the burden from me, and I can almost tangibly feel the weight depart as His gentle love surrounds me. It is then that my light and momentary troubles seem to wash away. I can breath again and that deep indwelling joy begins to bubble back up to the surface and overflow, in the knowing that all of these things will be used for an eternal glory that will outweigh them all! (2 Corinthians 4:16-18) I love that place. That place in Him, where my spirit can find rest.
Will you hold out your troubles to Him today, and trust Him to complete the good work He started in your life? (Philippians 1:6) Will you allow Him to be more than just a passing thought or prayer at the dinner table, and allow Him to be your Savior? Your Friend? Your Protector? Your Provider? Your Rock? He is waiting for you, dear Sister, and He is able!
2 Corinthians 4:16-18 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
Ephesians 3: 17-19 Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. (New Living Translation)
Psalm 27:1 The LORD is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid?
Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Bible references from the New International Version, unless otherwise noted.
Look full in His wonderful face
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His Glory and Grace...
Helen H. Lemmel
Oh, how messy life can be! You might feel as though you've got it all pretty squared away and the things of life are moving along in the right direction... and WHAM! Someone, or something, puts a kink in your air hose and you find yourself fighting to reach the surface of sanity and for a breath of relief. All of a sudden, you are struggling to keep your head above the waters of despair, grief, anger, fear, or all of the above. We fight against the feelings of being overwhelmed, or at other times, we are paralyzed by worry and anxiety over tragedy and other things out of our control. After exhausting and draining every bit of our waning energy, we fall into bed at night unable to sleep and recharge as we rehearse our next move, think through the worst case scenarios, or spend worry on the endless possibilities.
WHY? Why do we even attempt to battle, defend, work, run and manipulate when the Word of God clearly tells us to rest... Rest in Him. Sisters, when we carry on out of our own strength and determination in the throws of trouble, we are disobeying direct orders from our Commander in Chief and we sin. Why do we press on in pride trying to handle things on our own? It makes no sense, yet I have struggled with this time and again. We tell the Almighty God of the universe, Creator of heaven and earth, that we are grateful that He sent His Son to die for us and raised Him from the dead. However, our actions are in contrast saying, "I don't trust You to take care of me or my problems. I got this one, I'll handle it." I might as well say to the Father, "I can throw my hands up in worship before a congregation of people, I will tell of Your wonders and grace, but I will not trust You to save me, carry me or heal me." Sisters, if this is all there is to Christianity and we are left alone to fend for ourselves, then why make Jesus our Lord and SAVIOR in the first place?
The beauty and blessing of being a child of the Most High God, is that He promises to love us, protect us, and use ALL things, even the greatest tragedy, for our good! He can redeem it all! All we must do is learn to rest and trust in Him. (Psalm 37:7) This may be difficult in the beginning, not because He makes it so, but because our flesh does. Although, if we continually call on Him for His peace that passes all understanding, and if we take every thought captive and hold them up to the light of His Word and Truth; He will train our hearts and minds to die unto our flesh and rest in His strong, capable, and loving arms.
It is in these times that our wonderful God draws us near if we will stop for a moment, ignore the whirling winds around us and listen to His calling... Calling to be still, stand and watch as He takes what we have, even the worst we can imagine, and see Him create beauty from ashes. (Ephesians 6:13, Isaiah 61:3) He will draw back the choking waters about our heads and turn it into wine that is sweet to our lips. He will strengthen our weary backs burdened with the things of life and uphold us with His mighty right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)
Oh, believe me, I can complain with the best of them in the midst of such worrisome and grievous days! Although, when I stop and press into Him instead, I find that these are some of the greatest moments with my Father. I now look forward to those times, ones so personally miraculous that they are indelibly written on my mind and spirit and can be recalled when other dark days come. Not to say that I want to invite trouble, but there is nothing like the moment when I finally decide to hold out my hands and give up my pathetic attempts to control my situation and life... and He lifts the burden from me, and I can almost tangibly feel the weight depart as His gentle love surrounds me. It is then that my light and momentary troubles seem to wash away. I can breath again and that deep indwelling joy begins to bubble back up to the surface and overflow, in the knowing that all of these things will be used for an eternal glory that will outweigh them all! (2 Corinthians 4:16-18) I love that place. That place in Him, where my spirit can find rest.
Will you hold out your troubles to Him today, and trust Him to complete the good work He started in your life? (Philippians 1:6) Will you allow Him to be more than just a passing thought or prayer at the dinner table, and allow Him to be your Savior? Your Friend? Your Protector? Your Provider? Your Rock? He is waiting for you, dear Sister, and He is able!
2 Corinthians 4:16-18 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
Ephesians 3: 17-19 Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. (New Living Translation)
Psalm 27:1 The LORD is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid?
Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Bible references from the New International Version, unless otherwise noted.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Cyber Hussies
Proverbs 11:22 Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.
There's just no skirting around this one, is there ladies? This verse is directly pointed at the world we live in... Worse, there are no longer just "Pigs," the population of "Piglets" is growing exponentially. In this modern media age, we find that the conveniences meant for expediency are also gateways to temptation, sin, and bondage we never anticipated... Even for our kids.
If you don't know what Sexting is by now, you are behind Mama, and it is time to catch up. The advent of digital EVERYTHING has somehow erased all sense of modesty. Every whim, impulse and poor choice is being recorded for all the world to see. Our kids have become so infatuated with themselves that they actually believe that others might like to see them at their worst and without inhibitions. Sadly, in these photo shoots, children lack as much common sense as they do clothing.
Don't give me one of those, "but my daughter goes to Christian school," or, "but we go to church every Sunday and Wednesday night," lines. The statistics tell us that even your precious child has likely been exposed to R and even X rated content on the web, but many children are just too embarrassed to talk about it with a parent or adult. However, that embarrassment is not likely to erase curiosity, nor does it seem to discourage peer interaction on the topic. I have been repeatedly floored by the conversations and pictures posted by some of the most lovely, polite, Mary-Jane shod, Christian girls. Don't let the sweet exteriors fool you, they are all subject to temptation.
Then there is the ubiquitous Facebook or MySpace profile picture. Darling, young girls looking up into their hand held cameras, positioned just so as to accentuate their best attempt at bedroom eyes and tantalizing views of brand new cleavage. COME ON! Sister, this is not child's play! This is children play acting their way into an adult world they know little to nothing about. These girls naively post without realizing the danger they are inviting, or the sin they are perpetuating. Yes... I said, "perpetuating." Romans 14:13 says, "Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way." Do you think these tweens and middle schoolers think about what boys... and men... do, or are tempted to do, when they see these pictures? Probably not. If they do, it is time to intervene, Mom; if they don't, it is time to fill them in.
Most girls think that participating in these things will only attract the attention of that cute boy they have their eye on. They never consider that their skinny jeans and tight tops are more explicit than an Anatomy 101 course. It is unlikely that it occurs to them that some pot-bellied, balding, "Old Fart" or their best friend's dad might be eating them alive with their eyes. They don't concern themselves with the starring roles they play in the minds of men and boys whom they wouldn't shake a stick at. They don't guess that they might wish they had a stick to shake, if they found themselves alone with one of these fellas!
Mom, do you know the new fun trend? Signing up on "Hook-up" sites with false identities, fake pictures and nasty language. One of the objectives is to see what lonely men your baby can strike up IM conversations with. If you are thinking, "Yikes," "Gad-Zooks," or "Heavens to Mergatroid," you are just getting a glimpse of how bad and how dastardly this little game is. Let your mind wander for a second on the possibilities and you won't even scratch the actual surface.
Am I being too harsh and dramatic here? I don't think so. Am I grossing you out? Good. Trust me, I don't think that every other man out there is a pervert, but do we really want our daughters unknowingly wagging a bone in front of one that is? I am OVER seeing the faces of beautiful girls pop up on my TV screen, followed by the cries of pleading parents in search of their beloved child. No, I am not suggesting that these girls invited their fates. Many of these kids are simply victims, and never participated in the stuff I describe above... However, the actions of others that elevated the excitement and frustrations of these sick minds sure did. Other insecure souls trusted the kind words of wolves that were dripping with seemingly innocent complements. They sucked up the sugary sweet blather that lured them into their inescapable trap. Either way, a tragedy followed and a blessing of a child's innocence or very life was lost.
What can we do about it? Kick ourselves in the pants for apathy, for starters! Get our lazy eyes off of reality shows and tune into the reality that our kids are subjected to daily. Trust me, there is FAR more drama to be had in middle school than on any Soap or "bake-off" show. Take TWO minutes a day to peek at cell phone texts, Facebook, MySpace and email accounts. YES, you are going to have to get your child's passwords. YES, your requests will likely be met with resistance and irritation... But, HELLO, doesn't that just make you want to investigate all the more? It is time for damage control, Mama. It is time to expose the secrets and talk candidly about dignity and discretion.
Didn't your mom make you sit in the kitchen, in front of her, when you spoke on the phone with a boy? Didn't your mom look at you like you had lost your mind if you asked to show a boy your room? Wouldn't your mom "kill you" if she knew you wrote a love note in class? If not, then sorry, you were short changed and you can do better. Trouble is, there are so many more ways, nowadays, for a girl to get into sticky situations and be lured into exposing what she might not really want to, because these little electronic gadgets make it so darn easy!
Now don't think I am suggesting you pack up and head to Amish country. Our girls need to learn to live in this digital and cyber age safely. But Mom, how are they going to do it if you don't teach them and monitor them? Yeah, they know more about this stuff than you do, but you knew more about modern things than your mom did, too - and you couldn't always sneak one by her. Just the fact that your daughter knows you are interested and vigilant will serve to bolster some self control.
Here are some simple things you can do to curb the possibility of cyber indiscretions:
- Have access to all computer accounts and passwords (even school email accounts - they are not monitored carefully). If you find your child on a non-disclosed account, restrict access to the computer... Honestly, she won't die! Not to mention, it won't change her social status at school... If it does, then she was hanging with the wrong crowd anyway, and you have done her a favor that she just might thank you for in under 15 years.
- Check your child's computer history so you can see where she has been. If your child routinely erases her browsing history, then restrict access - she is going places she knows she shouldn't. Did you know that YouTube is an easy access to porn? Yep, sorry to wreck it for you, but it isn't just about cute or funny video snip-its. This site, and ones like it, would be safer to access with parental supervision.
- Put a "Cyber-Sitter" on your child's computer - and on yours for that matter. You don't need to view the garbage that is out there anymore than she does. A great one is called Covenant Eyes. Go on, give it a google! It is a Christian based organization that strives to protect you and your children from the yuck lurking out there.
- Don't rely solely on your "Cyber-Sitter!" This is lazy parenting, and sitters can't eradicate every creep and creepy thing.
- Check out your child's friends on Facebook, MySpace and other sites. If they have pictures that are inappropriate, remove them from your child's friends list. Better yet, contact that child's parent and let them know what is being posted. I bet you 100 bucks they are unaware and would appreciate your help.
- Check your child's phone records and billing statements. Who is she talking to? Who is she texting? What time of day or night is she communicating? Is she erasing these contacts and messages from her phone? If so, Mama, it is time to put some limits on the phone.
- Call your child's cell phone service provider and remove any internet capabilities, especially if the provider does not offer "Cyber Sitters."
Some folks out there will be thinking, "But that is an invasion of their privacy." Really? What privacy? Privacy is earned, it is a privilege. Someone else might be sympathetic to their child's social standing, and be thinking, "This would be social suicide." Mom, it is time to put your daughter's safety and dignity before her popularity.
I know this all sounds like work. I know you have limited time, but the investment you make now will reap great dividends later, and you will have no regrets.
So, just one more thing to do...
Pray. Pray. Pray. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, is more important to your daughter's well being. Pray that God would put a foul taste in her spiritual mouth when she sees or hears unclean things. Pray that she would not be able to ignore the conviction of the Holy Spirit, and would only find true rest and satisfaction in Him. Pray that she will hunger and thirst for the righteousness of God. Pray that she will leave any insecurities behind that might outweigh what she knows to be right and true. Pray that she will find her true worth and security in Christ, and that His opinion of her will be all that matters to her. Pray that when she sins, her heart will be convicted, and will drive her to her knees at the foot of the cross, allowing Him to forgive her, pick her up, dust her off, and set her on a new path free of guilt and shame. He is able to do all things!
I Timothy 4:12 Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
Bible references taken from the New International version
There's just no skirting around this one, is there ladies? This verse is directly pointed at the world we live in... Worse, there are no longer just "Pigs," the population of "Piglets" is growing exponentially. In this modern media age, we find that the conveniences meant for expediency are also gateways to temptation, sin, and bondage we never anticipated... Even for our kids.
If you don't know what Sexting is by now, you are behind Mama, and it is time to catch up. The advent of digital EVERYTHING has somehow erased all sense of modesty. Every whim, impulse and poor choice is being recorded for all the world to see. Our kids have become so infatuated with themselves that they actually believe that others might like to see them at their worst and without inhibitions. Sadly, in these photo shoots, children lack as much common sense as they do clothing.
Don't give me one of those, "but my daughter goes to Christian school," or, "but we go to church every Sunday and Wednesday night," lines. The statistics tell us that even your precious child has likely been exposed to R and even X rated content on the web, but many children are just too embarrassed to talk about it with a parent or adult. However, that embarrassment is not likely to erase curiosity, nor does it seem to discourage peer interaction on the topic. I have been repeatedly floored by the conversations and pictures posted by some of the most lovely, polite, Mary-Jane shod, Christian girls. Don't let the sweet exteriors fool you, they are all subject to temptation.
Then there is the ubiquitous Facebook or MySpace profile picture. Darling, young girls looking up into their hand held cameras, positioned just so as to accentuate their best attempt at bedroom eyes and tantalizing views of brand new cleavage. COME ON! Sister, this is not child's play! This is children play acting their way into an adult world they know little to nothing about. These girls naively post without realizing the danger they are inviting, or the sin they are perpetuating. Yes... I said, "perpetuating." Romans 14:13 says, "Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way." Do you think these tweens and middle schoolers think about what boys... and men... do, or are tempted to do, when they see these pictures? Probably not. If they do, it is time to intervene, Mom; if they don't, it is time to fill them in.
Most girls think that participating in these things will only attract the attention of that cute boy they have their eye on. They never consider that their skinny jeans and tight tops are more explicit than an Anatomy 101 course. It is unlikely that it occurs to them that some pot-bellied, balding, "Old Fart" or their best friend's dad might be eating them alive with their eyes. They don't concern themselves with the starring roles they play in the minds of men and boys whom they wouldn't shake a stick at. They don't guess that they might wish they had a stick to shake, if they found themselves alone with one of these fellas!
Mom, do you know the new fun trend? Signing up on "Hook-up" sites with false identities, fake pictures and nasty language. One of the objectives is to see what lonely men your baby can strike up IM conversations with. If you are thinking, "Yikes," "Gad-Zooks," or "Heavens to Mergatroid," you are just getting a glimpse of how bad and how dastardly this little game is. Let your mind wander for a second on the possibilities and you won't even scratch the actual surface.
Am I being too harsh and dramatic here? I don't think so. Am I grossing you out? Good. Trust me, I don't think that every other man out there is a pervert, but do we really want our daughters unknowingly wagging a bone in front of one that is? I am OVER seeing the faces of beautiful girls pop up on my TV screen, followed by the cries of pleading parents in search of their beloved child. No, I am not suggesting that these girls invited their fates. Many of these kids are simply victims, and never participated in the stuff I describe above... However, the actions of others that elevated the excitement and frustrations of these sick minds sure did. Other insecure souls trusted the kind words of wolves that were dripping with seemingly innocent complements. They sucked up the sugary sweet blather that lured them into their inescapable trap. Either way, a tragedy followed and a blessing of a child's innocence or very life was lost.
What can we do about it? Kick ourselves in the pants for apathy, for starters! Get our lazy eyes off of reality shows and tune into the reality that our kids are subjected to daily. Trust me, there is FAR more drama to be had in middle school than on any Soap or "bake-off" show. Take TWO minutes a day to peek at cell phone texts, Facebook, MySpace and email accounts. YES, you are going to have to get your child's passwords. YES, your requests will likely be met with resistance and irritation... But, HELLO, doesn't that just make you want to investigate all the more? It is time for damage control, Mama. It is time to expose the secrets and talk candidly about dignity and discretion.
Didn't your mom make you sit in the kitchen, in front of her, when you spoke on the phone with a boy? Didn't your mom look at you like you had lost your mind if you asked to show a boy your room? Wouldn't your mom "kill you" if she knew you wrote a love note in class? If not, then sorry, you were short changed and you can do better. Trouble is, there are so many more ways, nowadays, for a girl to get into sticky situations and be lured into exposing what she might not really want to, because these little electronic gadgets make it so darn easy!
Now don't think I am suggesting you pack up and head to Amish country. Our girls need to learn to live in this digital and cyber age safely. But Mom, how are they going to do it if you don't teach them and monitor them? Yeah, they know more about this stuff than you do, but you knew more about modern things than your mom did, too - and you couldn't always sneak one by her. Just the fact that your daughter knows you are interested and vigilant will serve to bolster some self control.
Here are some simple things you can do to curb the possibility of cyber indiscretions:
- Have access to all computer accounts and passwords (even school email accounts - they are not monitored carefully). If you find your child on a non-disclosed account, restrict access to the computer... Honestly, she won't die! Not to mention, it won't change her social status at school... If it does, then she was hanging with the wrong crowd anyway, and you have done her a favor that she just might thank you for in under 15 years.
- Check your child's computer history so you can see where she has been. If your child routinely erases her browsing history, then restrict access - she is going places she knows she shouldn't. Did you know that YouTube is an easy access to porn? Yep, sorry to wreck it for you, but it isn't just about cute or funny video snip-its. This site, and ones like it, would be safer to access with parental supervision.
- Put a "Cyber-Sitter" on your child's computer - and on yours for that matter. You don't need to view the garbage that is out there anymore than she does. A great one is called Covenant Eyes. Go on, give it a google! It is a Christian based organization that strives to protect you and your children from the yuck lurking out there.
- Don't rely solely on your "Cyber-Sitter!" This is lazy parenting, and sitters can't eradicate every creep and creepy thing.
- Check out your child's friends on Facebook, MySpace and other sites. If they have pictures that are inappropriate, remove them from your child's friends list. Better yet, contact that child's parent and let them know what is being posted. I bet you 100 bucks they are unaware and would appreciate your help.
- Check your child's phone records and billing statements. Who is she talking to? Who is she texting? What time of day or night is she communicating? Is she erasing these contacts and messages from her phone? If so, Mama, it is time to put some limits on the phone.
- Call your child's cell phone service provider and remove any internet capabilities, especially if the provider does not offer "Cyber Sitters."
Some folks out there will be thinking, "But that is an invasion of their privacy." Really? What privacy? Privacy is earned, it is a privilege. Someone else might be sympathetic to their child's social standing, and be thinking, "This would be social suicide." Mom, it is time to put your daughter's safety and dignity before her popularity.
I know this all sounds like work. I know you have limited time, but the investment you make now will reap great dividends later, and you will have no regrets.
So, just one more thing to do...
Pray. Pray. Pray. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, is more important to your daughter's well being. Pray that God would put a foul taste in her spiritual mouth when she sees or hears unclean things. Pray that she would not be able to ignore the conviction of the Holy Spirit, and would only find true rest and satisfaction in Him. Pray that she will hunger and thirst for the righteousness of God. Pray that she will leave any insecurities behind that might outweigh what she knows to be right and true. Pray that she will find her true worth and security in Christ, and that His opinion of her will be all that matters to her. Pray that when she sins, her heart will be convicted, and will drive her to her knees at the foot of the cross, allowing Him to forgive her, pick her up, dust her off, and set her on a new path free of guilt and shame. He is able to do all things!
I Timothy 4:12 Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
Bible references taken from the New International version
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Thursday, September 2, 2010
There's Something About Mary
Isaiah 54:10 Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the LORD, who has compassion on you.
Do we believe those words? Do we really trust that God has compassion on us when someone like my friend Mary finds out she has cancer? Why Lord? Why would You let this happen to our beautiful, full of life, loving, joyful Mary? Mary is one of those people that EVERYONE likes and you never hear a negative about her or from her. She gives everyday all she has, serving her God, her husband, her family and anyone in need. She takes every opportunity to love and encourage others. Her smile and enthusiasm are contagious. She is one of those dear Sisters who has more time for you than you have for yourself.
Hearing her news hit me like a ton of bricks... It brought up that age old question for God, "Why do bad things happen to good people?" Surely, God loves us! He doesn't want us to suffer and He wants good things for His children... Right? This is certainly true, but where is the bridge from this truth to the other reality that Mary has a life-threatening disease?
Unfortunately, as we are readily aware, we live in a fallen world. Sin and corruption can often seem closer in everyday life than God Himself. Plain and simply, the culprit of all the bad things is sin. Sin, the decision to satisfy the flesh instead of being obedient to our God, has put our dear Sister in this perilous position. NOT her sin, mind you. I am talking about the fall, when mankind decided to sin against God and this world changed from one of perfection in paradise to a mere shadow of all He intended it to be.
God, acting in His disappointment in mankind, could have wiped us out right then. But instead, acting in His love for us and knowing that He would have to make the ultimate sacrifice for our selfishness, decided to give us free choice as we live out our days in the "bed" we made for ourselves. God gave us the opportunity to choose between sin and Him, so that we might come to Him of our own free will and know His goodness despite the evil that surrounds us in this fallen world. So, even if we choose to live our lives for God and walk with Him spiritually, we still physically walk in a world that has wandered far from Him and are temporarily trapped in bodies that desire to go their own way. The consequence of sin leaves us in this fragile condition of susceptibility to the unhappy things of this world. (John 16:33)
However (and here comes the good part), our hope lies in that God sent His Son as a ransom for that sin. (Romans 6:23) So that, if we believe in our hearts and confess with our mouths that Jesus is Lord, we are forgiven and can expect to live with Him for eternity as He intended (Romans 10:9). When we turn our lives over to Him, He sees us through the sanctifying lens of the sacrifice of His Son and promises to use ALL things for good in our lives because we love Him... YES! He can even use Mary's cancer for good. (Romans 8:28) God does not promise that living this life will be easy, even if we are walking with Him, but He does promise it will be fulfilling. (John 15:5, 16, Ephesians 2:10) If we open our hearts to God, He is able to fill us by His Holy Spirit with His deep indwelling peace and joy, giving us strength and hope as we follow Him, even through the midst of tragedy.
Really, in a strange way, there is no better person than Mary to get cancer. Uh-oh, I got your attention with that one, right? Hang on and stick with me here. In no way do I want my friend to suffer! Yet, her testimony in this difficult season is already touching and ministering to many, and will continue to do so. Mary is grounded in her faith and the unfailing love of God, because He has given her a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11) God's covenant of peace in her heart cannot be removed, not even by cancer! God has promised to use all things for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28), and He is using this disease to reveal the solid foundation of faith Mary has allowed Him to grow in her heart! She is able to look at this chapter of her life with joy and expectancy, waiting to see how He will use this for her good and the good of those she loves and comes in contact with. She sent me a note the other day and in it she said, "It has been a fun ride so far. Yes, I do mean fun." This is only possible by the grace and love of our Father. The joy of the Lord is her strength! (Nehemiah 8:10)
Mary's desire to walk hand in hand with her Lord through this will serve to glorify her Father in heaven. She is allowing Christ to live out this hardship through her, and eyes will see and ears will hear the witness of Christ in her. 2 Corinthians 4:7 says, "But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves." She will reap the reward in heaven someday as she sees the lives that were changed because of her faith and decision to let her light shine for Jesus in any circumstance. These lives touched will be the gems of her eternal crown. (1 Thessalonians 2:19)
Anyone who knows Mary, knows the joy and giggle of amazement in seeing her running down unexpected roads. While the rest of us are driving to the grocery store or post office, Mary is taking a run to somewhere and back, with a smile for anyone who whizzes by. We live in different places now, but just the sight of her stretching her legs would give me a little "kick in the pants," and I would feel an extra degree of motivation for the day. Her life reminds me of 1 Corinthians 9:24 "Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. (NASB)" Seeing her run is such an incredible illustration of what is the drive of her heart. Although she takes great care of her body, it is still simply a vehicle to carry her through this life of loving others, and into the hands of Jesus. Mary's focus is on the eternal, so her body is already of little consequence to her. (Revelation 12:11)
I pray that Mary is completely healed of this disease, and we know that God is able! In the meantime, Mary is able to rest in her Father and continue to enjoy life, even in adversity, because she knows that God holds the number of her days in His loving hands. (Psalm 139:16) Cancer is not in control, God is! What a blessing and promise! I am so thankful for Mary and the depth of her love and trust of her Savior! Thank you, Mary, for your example and testimony, we dearly love you.
Do you have a peace in your heart like Mary's? Do you want to live even the darkest of days with a deep indwelling joy that cannot be extinguished? God is ready to do that miracle in your heart and mine, all we need to do is ask! (Matthew 7:7)
John 16:33 "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
2 Corinthians 4:18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
Romans 8:6 For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace. (NASB)
All Bible references take from the New International Version unless otherwise noted.
Do we believe those words? Do we really trust that God has compassion on us when someone like my friend Mary finds out she has cancer? Why Lord? Why would You let this happen to our beautiful, full of life, loving, joyful Mary? Mary is one of those people that EVERYONE likes and you never hear a negative about her or from her. She gives everyday all she has, serving her God, her husband, her family and anyone in need. She takes every opportunity to love and encourage others. Her smile and enthusiasm are contagious. She is one of those dear Sisters who has more time for you than you have for yourself.
Hearing her news hit me like a ton of bricks... It brought up that age old question for God, "Why do bad things happen to good people?" Surely, God loves us! He doesn't want us to suffer and He wants good things for His children... Right? This is certainly true, but where is the bridge from this truth to the other reality that Mary has a life-threatening disease?
Unfortunately, as we are readily aware, we live in a fallen world. Sin and corruption can often seem closer in everyday life than God Himself. Plain and simply, the culprit of all the bad things is sin. Sin, the decision to satisfy the flesh instead of being obedient to our God, has put our dear Sister in this perilous position. NOT her sin, mind you. I am talking about the fall, when mankind decided to sin against God and this world changed from one of perfection in paradise to a mere shadow of all He intended it to be.
God, acting in His disappointment in mankind, could have wiped us out right then. But instead, acting in His love for us and knowing that He would have to make the ultimate sacrifice for our selfishness, decided to give us free choice as we live out our days in the "bed" we made for ourselves. God gave us the opportunity to choose between sin and Him, so that we might come to Him of our own free will and know His goodness despite the evil that surrounds us in this fallen world. So, even if we choose to live our lives for God and walk with Him spiritually, we still physically walk in a world that has wandered far from Him and are temporarily trapped in bodies that desire to go their own way. The consequence of sin leaves us in this fragile condition of susceptibility to the unhappy things of this world. (John 16:33)
However (and here comes the good part), our hope lies in that God sent His Son as a ransom for that sin. (Romans 6:23) So that, if we believe in our hearts and confess with our mouths that Jesus is Lord, we are forgiven and can expect to live with Him for eternity as He intended (Romans 10:9). When we turn our lives over to Him, He sees us through the sanctifying lens of the sacrifice of His Son and promises to use ALL things for good in our lives because we love Him... YES! He can even use Mary's cancer for good. (Romans 8:28) God does not promise that living this life will be easy, even if we are walking with Him, but He does promise it will be fulfilling. (John 15:5, 16, Ephesians 2:10) If we open our hearts to God, He is able to fill us by His Holy Spirit with His deep indwelling peace and joy, giving us strength and hope as we follow Him, even through the midst of tragedy.
Really, in a strange way, there is no better person than Mary to get cancer. Uh-oh, I got your attention with that one, right? Hang on and stick with me here. In no way do I want my friend to suffer! Yet, her testimony in this difficult season is already touching and ministering to many, and will continue to do so. Mary is grounded in her faith and the unfailing love of God, because He has given her a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11) God's covenant of peace in her heart cannot be removed, not even by cancer! God has promised to use all things for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28), and He is using this disease to reveal the solid foundation of faith Mary has allowed Him to grow in her heart! She is able to look at this chapter of her life with joy and expectancy, waiting to see how He will use this for her good and the good of those she loves and comes in contact with. She sent me a note the other day and in it she said, "It has been a fun ride so far. Yes, I do mean fun." This is only possible by the grace and love of our Father. The joy of the Lord is her strength! (Nehemiah 8:10)
Mary's desire to walk hand in hand with her Lord through this will serve to glorify her Father in heaven. She is allowing Christ to live out this hardship through her, and eyes will see and ears will hear the witness of Christ in her. 2 Corinthians 4:7 says, "But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves." She will reap the reward in heaven someday as she sees the lives that were changed because of her faith and decision to let her light shine for Jesus in any circumstance. These lives touched will be the gems of her eternal crown. (1 Thessalonians 2:19)
Anyone who knows Mary, knows the joy and giggle of amazement in seeing her running down unexpected roads. While the rest of us are driving to the grocery store or post office, Mary is taking a run to somewhere and back, with a smile for anyone who whizzes by. We live in different places now, but just the sight of her stretching her legs would give me a little "kick in the pants," and I would feel an extra degree of motivation for the day. Her life reminds me of 1 Corinthians 9:24 "Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. (NASB)" Seeing her run is such an incredible illustration of what is the drive of her heart. Although she takes great care of her body, it is still simply a vehicle to carry her through this life of loving others, and into the hands of Jesus. Mary's focus is on the eternal, so her body is already of little consequence to her. (Revelation 12:11)
I pray that Mary is completely healed of this disease, and we know that God is able! In the meantime, Mary is able to rest in her Father and continue to enjoy life, even in adversity, because she knows that God holds the number of her days in His loving hands. (Psalm 139:16) Cancer is not in control, God is! What a blessing and promise! I am so thankful for Mary and the depth of her love and trust of her Savior! Thank you, Mary, for your example and testimony, we dearly love you.
Do you have a peace in your heart like Mary's? Do you want to live even the darkest of days with a deep indwelling joy that cannot be extinguished? God is ready to do that miracle in your heart and mine, all we need to do is ask! (Matthew 7:7)
John 16:33 "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
2 Corinthians 4:18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
Romans 8:6 For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace. (NASB)
All Bible references take from the New International Version unless otherwise noted.
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My 95 year old Grandpa sends me pictures to remind me of home :) I love his perspective and thoughtfulness.