God Picked Them For You

I have been reading some blogs lately, and have found that people are struggling with their relationships with family - parents and siblings.  Especially, when just starting out on their own, or thinking about leaving the nest.  It can be hard to find the definition of your own identity sometimes without feeling like your are turning your back on or rejecting what you think your parents stand for, or what they taught you growing up.  I guess I am talking mostly about people who are Christians, who also are beginning to flesh out their own faith instead of riding on the coat tails of mom and dad's relationship with Christ.  This isn't a bad thing, it is a necessary thing - to make your relationship with Christ your own.  As long as you follow the leading of the Holy Spirit, and maintain your focus on Him, He will help you find your own course.  You will make mistakes, but He will be there to lift you up time and time again.  Your path is not the same as your parents, just as your tastes and thoughts are not identical either.  You have good friends who don't think exactly the same and don't have the same needs or weaknesses in their walk, but you don't feel guilty about that... So, why feel guilty about being your own person, God's person, in your faith, separate from your parents?  Just remember to temper your differences with respect, God placed your parents as authority in your life for a reason... but still, let your heart examine all that God wants to do in and through YOU, all that He wants to change and transform into His likeness.

There may be difficulty though, when a grown child feels or knows that they have been taught distortions of God's truth.  This can be gut wrenching... You know that your parents only wanted the best for you, but you wish you could share what God has revealed to your heart.  The unrest it brings to your heart can lead you to want to get away from your parents or put distance between you and them and find new people who share your views.

The beautiful thing about knowing the Lord Jesus, is that with Him comes His body, our true family! We begin to find Sisters and Brothers that we will share eternity with for the Glory of God, and that can bring incredible depth to relationship. We ask, and the Lord gladly puts authority in our lives filled with His wisdom, to help guide us - but above all we have the Holy Spirit, who if we surrender to, will lead us through His perfect plan for our lives. I believe that includes learning to love and forgive our biological families. The ones that brought us into this world may not always be exactly what we think they ought to be, but then, God chose them for us. He loves them just as much as He loves us, and He may have placed you in their lives so that they may get a glimpse of Him and His love and truth.  Try to lend them the grace God has given you, reminding yourself that tragedy, hardships, or misleading by others can can create misconceptions, fear and other problems.  Healthy boundaries and even distance are good if there have been abuses, but ask God to love your family through you with His love.  Prayer is the best gift you can give, along with leading a God focused life.  He will surely bless you in ways that you may not expect.